Wednesday, August 31, 2005

on all 8's been a good day. Been a long time since I've felt like me. Like my brain actually works. But today, well today I was firing on all 8.

Woke up early (had to, I had carpool) and got everyone to where they needed to be on time. Early even. Came back home and was working by 7:50am. That's crazy early, even when I did have a brain. Worked all morning then headed to the office to catch a ride with the boss.

I had an important meeting with the building community of a church I'm doing the electrical design for. We didn't know what we were walking into, other than "they don't think they need that lighting". crazy. I hate walking into meetings blind like that. I mean, what don't you like? Is it the physical look of the fixtures? Is it the glare? Is it the cost??? WHAT?

Our client totally had our back and we ended up getting the go ahead to keep the system we designed that will actually work. Funny, since that's what they hired us to do in the first place. But I guess sometimes it takes some face to face time to convince people of that. ah worked.

Anyway, got home after that and worked more, returned calls, and set up the rest of the week. Helped Noah with his homework. Picked up the girls and played with them for a while. Had them pick up their rooms. Then the living room. I cleaned the kitchen and family room. Let them watch cartoons while I mopped. Fed them. Watch a bit of scooby doo (man is that bad). Bathed them and got them to bed.

Then Peter got home. Month end for him so it's crazy busy. Handed Kate off to him after he ate dinner. Now it's 'my' time.

So decided my kitchen needed a little shelf. So I found one I'd been holding onto for some reason, this reason it turns out. Painted hit. Hung it. And put the phone, our daily meds, and tissues on it. Looks like it'll work.

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I feel sharp. I will get it back. Peter's right. I will. And today I actually believe that!

yeah...that feels good.

bye bye bassinet

My little one, Kate, has grown out of the bassinet. She's 4 1/2 months now and we've moved her to her own bed.
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aaah....How sweet is she?

She'll be in with Sarah eventually. But for now she's in a pack'n'play thingie in my scrapbook room. We're 'testing it out' for a couple days/weeks first waiting to see how she does. We're hoping they'll both sleep in there without waking the other one up. We'll see. Kate's super quiet. Sarah's loud! haha My biggest problem, though, is keeping big brother outta there. He's alway so excited to play with his sisters.

I'll be packing up the bassinet today. It's seen a lot of love in it's life. I bought it from my neighbor when I was pregnant with Sarah. She'd used it for her 2nd born. I kept it for Kate and now I'm going to donate it to the children's ministry at my church. So it will continue to keep safe and warm another beautiful little life. I wonder how many more babies will sleep in it. Kinda makes me wish I could put Lo-Jack on it or something, so I can track it's whereabouts! haha

Bittersweet day. I'd figured it would hurt more...Kate being my last n'all. But it's really not. Dare I say it's almost exciting. Something about my babies growing up that...well...makes me feel...warm.

I like feeling warm.

Monday, August 29, 2005

man i hate that

ugh...Don't you just hate it when your husband is mad at you? Especially when he's got every right to be? dammit. I keep making the same mistakes over and over and over again. I can't seem to stop. It's maddening - for everyone.

Not to worry, it's not big mistakes I'm making. So I don't expect he'll be seeing a lawyer any time soon. But still. I've got to stop. I've got to find a way to pull it together and stop being...well...a bitch.

I wasn't ever perfect, mind you. But man! These children have taken a toll of my brain. Big time. I wouldn't trade them to get my brain back. But I need to somehow regenerate what's lost. Rebuilt it somehow.

Maybe meds.

Probably shouldn't come vent on the internet. But who reads this anyway? And I needed to put it down out there that I know I'm wrong. Even if he doesn't believe me (yet) maybe some anonomous person out there will. *wink*


he's sleeping with them

Sleeping with what you ask? Well his two-1st place metals of course!

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It was one of those days. The kind you wish for as a parent. The kind of day that ends with sore cheeks for smiling.

Noah competed in a karate tournament on Saturday. This was his 3rd in a year and it had double the number of competitors in his division, many of them a slightly higher belt rank. Having not attend practice consistantly for months I was worried he would perform poorly and end up disappointed. Man, was I wrong.

He did fantastic!!!

I've never seen him so sharp, confident and ready to knock'em dead. But that's what he did. The minute he walked into the ring I could tell he was on fire. He marched up pride and ready to wow the judges. He flew through his form effortlessly and without hesitation. If he made a mistake I didn't see it.

There were about (25) 6-8 year olds in the group. They awarded 5 of each award. I didn't realize they were going to do that and figured he was going to take 3rd, as I was adding the scores as they were shown. I was pleased with 3rd. There were 2 others who did exceptionally well and deserved a higher score. So when they pulled 5 kids for the blue ribbon I was tickled!

And so was Noah! :)

Then he was to compete in sparring. This doesn't come as naturally to him. He's not very aggressive and tends to think more on form and technique (which is good)and get hammered by his glumsy aggresive opponent. It didn't help that he's only sparred 2 times in the last 5 months. Having Kate has taken its toll on my schedule. Karate was one of the first things to go.

He loves sparring so we entered him in that just for practice. There were about 12 in his sparring group and he finished first in that as well. Didn't lose a bout. I, seriously, could not have been more proud of him.

We all floated home. He's still pretty much on cloud 9.

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Sunday, August 28, 2005

My news for the weekend will need to wait. Today I'm thinking, praying, and lighting a candle for a little boy who will be going heaven soon.

Through twopeasinabucket NSBR message board we've all got to know Tanya and the battle her son, Colin, has fought with cancer. A battle that will be ending today.

My heart aches for them. I cannot fathom...

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Friday, August 26, 2005

laying in wait

Our neighbors take Noah and their two kids to school in the morning. I pickup. It works out pretty well I think. Picking up is kinda a drag because you have to wait so long. It's a 30 minute wait no matter how you look at it.

I usually read. Right now it's the Darwin Awards. Funny stuff (in a pathetic sorta way.)

But the other day I had my camera with me so I pulled Kate out of the carseat and plopped her down on the passenger seat. This is one of the many (many) pictures I took. I kinda like it. She's pretty damn cute :) But then I'm require, by law, to think so! *wink*
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p.s. she's not flipping me off is she???

Thursday, August 25, 2005

sarah's two!

How in the world did that happen? Really, 2 years? wow. That's crazy fast. Although I don't know why I'm surprised, it's not like I didn't have a whole other baby! haha

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Here she is at the inpromptu party we had at Peter Piper. How did the world go around without that place. Man they make it easy for me to procrastinate.

We had a nice time. Sarah especially. Loves all her little girly things. Yeah, I get her girly things. Surprises me a little bit to as I'm not much of a girly girly. But she loves dolls and purses and baby I buy it for her. So maternal. (of her I mean!)

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

he's a keeper.

Today is our 3rd wedding anniversary and man is my husband a keeper. Not because of these BEAUTIFUL flowers he sent that have the longest stems I've ever seen. Or because he's taking me out Saturday.
He does a million things every day. He laughs at my jokes. He understands when I'm sad or flustered or pissed or overwhelmed. He know just what to say to talk me down from any of the many things that I need talked down from.

But because, today, in the card that came with my flowers, he said something that reminded me (not that I necessarily need a reminder) of why he's such a good guy.

He said 'thanks.'

Thank you, Peter, thank you.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

i figured it out

and I did it all by my little ole self! go meee go meee!!!
I can post a picture in my blog. This, a simple task for many, is mind blowing for me. Funny...isn't it? how someone who spends all day on a computer drafting swiftly and accurately with a very sophisticated computer program that costs well over 3 grand to buy has such a hard time with simple things like hosting a picture online. is stupid. HAHA

anyway, This is my first picture on my blog. My son. How handsome is he?
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Monday, August 22, 2005

back to the grind

aahhh...and I feels good. I am super habitual. Always have been. I would get the same meal at that same restuarant every day if I could. It's frightening almost.

But between having Kate, taking my maternity leave and having Noah home for the summer things have been...well...wacked! While I've loved - individually - all the crazy things that have been going on in my life, having them overlap has been hard. Very hard. Then I probably didn't need to say that. It's been pretty obvious that I'm barely keeping my head above water.

Things are on the mend now though. My brain is starting to clear. School has got me back on a schedule (that starts before 10am! HAHA), I'm over being sad about no longer nursing, and I'm actually looking forward to working (not that I HAVEN'T been working mind you)

That said, I have to run. Kate needs a bottle :)

Friday, August 19, 2005

it's a good day

Today is a good day. My very dear friend, Kaelene, has moved back to AZ from Salt Lake and I couldn't be happier. She's been gone far too long. 4 years to be exact. I've missed her.

She's coming over tonight to scrapbook with me. Just like the good ole days. WOO HOO! After we eat dinner, catch up on things, hit the scrapbook store, (and sneak in some dessert) we might actually get something done. HA! Who am I kidding! We won't get a damn thing done. And that's just as it should be.

It's good to have her back! :)

out and about

Just got back from hitting my old stomping groud in Tempe. Pretty fun. Kinda surreal. Definately didn't make me wanna change anything about my life. Not that I expected it to.

You see, I've been going out on Thursday night with my girlfriend, Lori, for humm....probably 10 years now. At first it was ALL party party party. Then I got pregnant and it was walking around the block to maintain my blood sugar levels and watching ER. Then it was just getting dinner and watching ER. Well now that I'm FINALLY done with being pregnant and nursing it's more like get outta the house, have dinner, and grab a drink or two somewhere (we've yet to find a bar that we like but that's another story)

So tonight was no different. We went to Gecko Grill. This AMAZING mexican place where I always get the "shrimp mango queeeeesadeeeeeeeeeeella" (yeah I say it like that) DAMN is that thing good. It's a torrrrrteeeeeeeeya. Love it. Then we try a new bar across town. It's alright. Nothing to write home about. But it's just me and her and getting away from things so there's no reason to find someplace worthy of writing home about.

We're sitting there havin' a drink and we decide (err...well okay...*I* decide) that we should check out "my old bar." Casey Moore's. It's this old HAUNTED 3 story building turning to seafood restaurant/bar. It's near the heart of college town Tempe and is usually packed. I hadn't been there for well over 3 years and man had things changed.

Or well maybe not so much. They did do a HUGE patio expantion that at least tripled their space. They added a bar out there and everything. Pretty cool. But inside was still the same. The bartenders still daunted the white dress shirt and cinched up tie. The bathroom still only had two stalls but for some reason never really had a line. I was still able to walk in while it was completely packed and find 2 open chairs at the corner of the bar just like I like. Something about that place always welcomed me. I felt like Norm.

Had a couple beers. Watched the young Tempe freaks hitting on each other. Asked the bartender if Gavin was still there? (he is) How about Rod and his new wife? (nope, married with child in Colorado) Aaron, the door guy? (moved to NY and fell off the face of the planet) And Biker? (just missed him) It was nice knowing that I wasn't the only person thinking about these old friends. Glad I went. Glad I talked to the bartender.

Glad to be home.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

36 years and I just found out

that I'm a drama queen. How did I not know this.

I mean I'm emotional. Freely admit that. A 30 second tv commercial can get me crying. Forget about Extreme Makeover Home Edition!!!

I also tend to get really frazzled about the stresses in my life and wonder (aloud) how I'm going to cope.

but drama queen??? or is that what a drama queen does?

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

seen it all now

So last Saturday night, after scrapping, I decided to get a beer at the bar down the road. Since I lost my milk :( it's something I can do. And since Peter's always asleep when I get home from the store I knew he wouldn't miss me.

It's late, like midnight, when I get there. There's a band playing and lots of people. I take a seat at the bar right next to the waitress station with my back to the band. I order my drink, pull a pen out of my purse, grab some napkins and start jotting down some notes/sketches that just popped into my mind for some new pages.

So there I sit, winding down, having a beer, joting down notes and minding my own business when I hear someone order something I'd never heard of. For some reason this catches my attention and I watch the bartender mix the drink. She poured a shot of Jagermeister and opened a Red Bull. WHAT? I thought. This is a bar? redbull? I've seen it all now. Then she poured half the RedBull into a largeish on-the-rocks glass and handed both the glass and the shot to the man next to me who ordered this...Catastrophe.

You drink it just like a boilermaker apparently. Drop the shot in the glass, let it mix/fuzz for a second and them slam it. I asked the guy if it tastes like Jager (which I hate) and he said no, that it was good. "All the sugar in the RedBull balances out the jager" he says.

Yeah, I'll take his word for it.

Monday, August 15, 2005


Did I say I was prepared for the first day of school??? WHAT WAS I THINKING???

It's 12:30 pm. or is this am? AM I think. I can never get that straight. It's THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! LOL I'm super hot and dripping with sweat as I just spent the last 2 hours scrubbing to death 30 white canvas bags that have been pretreated and soaking in a bleach bath for an hour. Why you say? Well, you see, we have these mandatory 'volunteer hours' for my son's (private Catholic) school and at the end of the year last year, in an attempt to be proactive about my necessary hours rather than putting them off till the last month like I had done the previous year, I agreed to wash the chair pockets for the Kinder teacher. Easy enough right?

yeah, right.

I tossed them in the washer and ran it. Then a ran it again just to be sure they were nice and extra clean. Aren't I clever? As I transferred them to the dryer I found a couple pencils. Now a smart person would have stopped everything and carefully checked each and every pocket for stray items, right? Riiiiight! Do I do this simple task? OH no ... Not me! I just pick up a handfull and 'bend' them checking for pencils. No cracking sound? Not stiff? We're good to go.

Didn't think about the crayons.

Yeah, crayons. Or well one crayon to be accurate. One very black crayon. Did I mention these were white bags? Yeah, let's not forget that. So yeah, these things looked TERRIBLE. Simply terrible. All but ruined. There was NO WAY I was returning these bags looking like this. Hell, I was already trying to cost out how much it was going to be to replace them. Who really knows how much canvas chair pockets run these days? LOL

So I bleached. and soaked and bleached again. All in preparation for 'the scrub.'

2 hours of scrubbing, to be exact. Two.

I just pulled them from the washer, out of their "whitest white, extra soak, extra rinse, heavy soiled" wash cycle and I'll admit, they look okay.

Clorox (oh well and mucho elbow grease) saves the day. So much for being prepared.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

it's that time again

I say that like this school stuff is old hat to me. HA! yeah right. I, at 8pm, just got back from Target finishing up the school shopping. Had to make a second trip for supplies because the pencil bag I got wasn't big enough. Einstein that I am didn't think to put the pens and pencils in the box WHILE AT THE STORE! Not like I didn' t have them all in my fancy little cart. ah well...such is my life.

So, I think we're ready for school. Well I know *I'm* ready...and I think we're even prepared. School shopping is fun. Heck, school supplies are fun. Papers, pens, Elmer's, notebooks, they are right up there with things I love. The smell. The texture. The sound. I swear I started scrapbooking just so I could fiddle with paper and glue.

Noah and I had a good time finding our required items and checking them off the list. His teacher seems to be (we haven't met yet *shrug*) very exact. Our list was very specific. Which bugged Peter a little but I liked. He obviously hasn't done the school shopping before because when you're standing in front of a literal WALL of Crayolas it's WAY easier to find the "24 pack of crayons."

Can I just say that backpacks now-a-days are cool. All those compartments and zippers and pouches. Love them. I wanted to buy one for myself just so I could fill it up with my personal stash of paper and glue.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

phew! that was fun!!!

Well I'm back from CKU-A in Provo, UT. And WOW What a blast. It was my second CKU and I have to say, I loved Album so much more than the standard CKU. I can't wait to go again. I was so so so much better than I imagined.

My main class, or "track" as it's called was "A week in the life" taught by Ali Edwards. It was amazing. She was amazing. So laid back and smart and funny and real. I (I'll admit) wanted to be her. How silly is that!?!?

But back to the class, before attending we were to document our lives for week. We were to carry our camera around and shoot everything. We were to write down what we ate during the day, what we observed, what we were grateful for and gather 'stuff' that accumulated during the week.

yeah...I did do all that. haha imma loser. I started on Monday and was sick of it by Tuesday afternoon. It was HARD!!! But I did get enough to capture what happens during my week. And I'm habitual enough to fill in the blanks. There's something to be said about doing the same thing day in and day out.

aaaaanyway, this album was intense. It was intricate and very personal. And I FINISHED IT! simply love it. It's simple and so not 'deep', which I love. It has nearly nothing about my kids, or work, or Peter or my friends. It's about ME. All the little things that make up me. My need for visine in the morning. How I eat the same breakfast E-V-E-R-Y S-I-N-G-L-E D-A-Y. How I'm grateful for cubed ice and scented candles. You know, the important stuff :) It's silly and fun and light and could'nt have had it any other way.

So I'm back and trying to get into the groove of real life after so carefully scrapbooking my 'real' life. And after freaking out on my email buddies (sorry y'all) about the mess I came home to I'm feeling okay and ready to start again.

like I said, phew! That was fun :)