So Maddy just posted about how funny her kids are and it reminded me of a funny thing Noah said yesterday.
We're driving down Ray Road heading home after carpool pick-up when I get pulled over. Yea, it was fun. Flashing lights, changing lanes, pulling off the road, all with two of my kids and two of someone else's children. Not my proudest moment.
So I stop. The cop stops behind me and gets out. He's walking up to me SO DAMN SLOWLY I wondered if he was ever going to make it. It didn't help that I had an important meeting about the book in 25 minutes or that I really had to pee. That might have made time go slower. So anyway, he's strolling up, checking out the inside of the van, looking for smuggled mexicans or bags of rock cocaine I'm sure. I mean I fit that profile. As he's walking noah asks, rather loudly, "Is he going to shoot us!?"
NO! HONEY, he's not going to shoot us.
Then, in an even more stellar moment, he tells me he pulled me over because my tags where expired. like back in MARCH! hahahahahaaa yeah, I'm a dumb ass. THEN (YES, there's a then) he asks for proof of insurance. Don't you know it, I can't find it. I knew I couldn't either because I was looking for it the other day for the windor repair nazi guy at the carwash who wanted to fix that little ding in my windshield. So I can't find it. He tells me to keep looking while he goes back to him car.
"is he going to get handcuffs mommy?" ugh... (okay I laughed at this one)
He's gone forever...tick tick tick tick...gotta pee...gonna be late for my meeting. I can't find the stupid insurance card. I'm a loser, I realize. Write me that damn ticket already so I can be on my way. sheesh.
THEN, (yes another then) after I've given up looking and put everything back in my purse Noah asks, "So what happens if you can't find it mommy, are you going to go to jail?" NO jail today honey, you're stuck with me.
Okay so maybe you had to be there, the pressure on my bladder made it all seem urgent and funny. And since you're not sitting on the side of the road anxious to use the bathroom with a child who's afraid his mommy is going to the big house it might not be as funny. But to me it was a crack up!