feeling...

anxious, lonely. and weak.

icky is a good word.

Not that y'all want to hear me complain, but I will. Feel free to move on to a funnier, happier blog today. For now I need to be sad.

My medication must be off a bit cuz I'm feeling...ugh. Okay, well, that's not completely true. It's true I'm 'off' again but it's really because I pretty much forgot to take my meds every day. That'll mess you up. Did you know?

So I'm on them again but they don't take immediate effect so I still can't breathe, or think or start anything (much less finish anything). It's such horrible way to live...feeling like your heart is going to jump out of your body and that you can't really take a good.deep.breath.

I don't know how people do it, live with anxiety. At least I know that in a couple days, or weeks tops, I'll be back on my game.

Sent Peter, Noah and Sarah off to Michigan today for a family reunion. Not sure why I thought it was a good idea Kate and I stay home. $650 airfare (yes each) had something to do with it. Work deadlines and 2 classes did too. But right now it's sounding like the stupidest damn idea I ever had. I'm alone till Sunday. Well Kate's here. And she's funny. and cute. and I love her.

To top off my evening (of kitting two of the 8 projects I have to kit before friday night) I watched this video that was linked on ali's blog Yeah, if you're even remotely sad, don't go there. I bawled like a little baby. It definetely didn't make me feel stronger. Made me feel like "thank GOD for that dad. THANK GOD there are strong people in this world because there's no way I could handle that"

I'll have to go back when I'm not feeling so weak and check it out. I'm sure that isn't the effect they were going for. In the mean time, think about me please. I'm bummin.