So I can't sleep and I'm cruising around on Craigslist.com - my new addiction! Anyway, there's a "best of" section that has tons of funny crap. Yesterday's funny was a little long for here but this one was perfect! Enjoy! :)
This is a true story swear to God
I work at Safeway in Strawberry and last night around 1:30am I was putting out the last of the empty veggie crates out back and I here this PSSSSST coming from somewhere in the parking lot and a few seconds later a woman in her mid-thirties peeks her head from the driver window of her car about 15 yards away and says SO ARE YOU DOWN WITH THE LADIES and I was all WHAT? and she says YOU HEARD ME and I say I GUESS SO, WHY and she says BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE and I didn't know what to say so she gets out of her car and walks towards me and I can see as she gets closer that she is beautiful except for the WHOLE LEFT SIDE OF HER SCALP IS SHAVED AND THE OTHER HALF IS FEATHERED SHOULDER LENGTH just like Kristy McNichol way back when and she's holding two huge tweezers - swear - like the biggest tweezers you have EVER SEEN and they are hooked together by a thick black cord and I started to freak inside a little bit thinking this is not the way I want to die out back behind Safeway smelling like rotten spinach leaves and bludgeoned to death by a pair of tweezers so I say WHAT'S UP? in a deep voice and she keeps walking towards me and when she's about 10 feet away she says with a smile THIS LADY NEEDS A JUMP START and lifts up the tweezers and I see that it's actually just a pair of jumper cables and inside I was like OH MY GOD I'M A MORON and exhaled a deep breath and say SURE so I grab my truck and drive it next to hers and help her jump her car but I was too afraid to ask what's up with the half shaved scalp before she winked and said THANKS MAN and drove off. Anyway back to cruising the personals just thought I'd give you a break.