this made me cry I laughed so hard

Fifteen Ways to Maintain a [perceived?] Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf in the office coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

5. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For Marijuana'.

6. Finish all your sentences with "...In Accordance With The Prophecy."

7. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

8. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat. Keep a seriousface.

9. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To Go'.

10. Sing along at the Opera.

11. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play Tropical Sounds all day!

12. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.

13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream excitedly, "I Won! I Won!"

14. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

15. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."


I was busting a gut when Traci, the person who sent this to me, went skipping through the office. I fell off my chair.

I'm a lemming....

and decided to twitter. Mainly becuase full blog with pictures scare me...and I have random thought race through my brain all the time. thought it might be funny to write them down.

IamMichelle Check me out. And if you twitter let me know and I'll following...being the lemming I am : )

lots going on

Been super busy over here beyond the craziness of the book stuff. We're off to Cali tomorrow to get my Dad's stuff. I'm super excited about it - can't you tell? Me, the hubby and my bro are flying up (SIL is watching the kids - that's Junie-beeee!!!) thursday. We're packing up Friday and Saturday then the boys are hitting the road. I'm flying back Sunday. Pray that we find my Mom's jewelry. Dad stashed it somewhere and no one knows where. I'm fearful it's lost.

Okay enough of that sad crap. On to what we've been up to.

Peter rounded us all a couple weekends ago for a little overnight trip. We took the scenic route to Globe...took us 7 hours to get 70 miles out of town. We went past the 3 lakes, Canyon, Apache and Roosevelt, drove 22 miles on unpaved roads, and stayed the night in a little motel. It was pretty cool. I shot a ton of pictures, these are a few of my favorites. I'm finally starting to get a couple good shots of all 3 kids together. Love that.










Noah's Little League baseball season is over. We had a fantastic year. Had a sucky record (under 500) but they learned a TON and I think they all had a very good time. Noah has always been good but this year he came alive. He's just down right fun to watch. Well fun for those who actually like baseball, Like me and Peter. haha

We had great kids and super cool parents. We befriended another couple and have been hanging out with them outside of baseball. Always cool to have someone else to chill with.

Here are a couple shots Peter took of Noah pitching. He's a natural shortstop but holds his own on the mound too. Might be obvious (or maybe not) that these pictures are not of the same windup...but you get the picture.

We are waiting to hear if Noah made the All Star team. Won't lie, I really would love it if he did. But being so young (youngest of all the nominated players, I'm told) and having to cut the list in half (28 were nominated for 14 spots) I won't be surprised if they don't select him this year. That would be fine too. I'm really just missing baseball already. Like I said, it was a fun season.









Here's a couple more pics from the 10 mile an hour trip. Everyone likes a blooming cactus, right? Oh sure you do. And those kids. Of cute are them little shits!?!?!






Okay, I'll admit, you can barely see them but trust me. They are stinkin' KEY-YUTE!

i didn't barf

Well here it is...the link to my tv Debut.

Me - not barfing.

I did a segment with Dan Davis at News Channel 3. My first time ever on tv, yah I know, hard to imagine huh I look so confident! (bwhaha!) It was fun. Scary and exciting. But fun. Glad I did it. Extra glad they asked.

I haven't eaten or slept since I got the news YESTERDAY about the segment. I'm pretty much ready for a meal and a nappy!

don't laugh at me too hard. It was pretty damn scary! :)

having a heart attack!!!

If you happen to be up tomorrow (wednesday) at 8:45am and live in the valley check me out on News Channel 3 tomorrow!!! I am going to be interviewed by Tara Hitchcock about the book.

I am dying over here.

Dear Lord, Please help me not to barf on Live TV!
Amen.

BEST 6 MINUTES EVER

BOY CAN DANCE

CHECK OUT THIS DUDE!

First 2 plus minutes are him dancing...rest is the judges...and its ALL good. It's 6 minutes you'll want to (and be able to) live again. :)

first of many

I wasn't going to post this cuz well, it's kinda silly. Okay it's not silly to me (much) but to everyone else it's got to be down right mind numbing. None the less, here ya go. While everyone else is posting pics of their (high school) grads I thought I'd post our little graduate.

Sarah is a little grad herself...from being 4 in preschool. Not even kindergarten, preschool folks. Told ya it was silly : ) Still cool though. Her school gets really into it. Offical caps and gowns (that perfectly match the wall color. Wonder if they planned that. Can you even see her?? She doesn't have a floating her, for reals.)


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There was a little glance into the day to day routine. Most was question and answer stuff like the recognizing letters, numbers and sybmols. They have a little song and dance-ish thing for the months of the year - this is what she's doing here.


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The official handing of the diploma and gradulations from her teacher (who is FANTASIC I must say!)


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Caught a cute moment while she was admiring her "diploma". Granted she's got no stinkin' clue what this all means but it's still damn cute!


I don't sound like it, I'm sure, but I really am quite proud of her. Off to Kinder next year. She's ready. Even if I'm not.

One Word

i love this crap.

Answer the following with only one word.
1. Where is your cell phone? ....................purse
2. Your significant other?.......................funny
3. Your hair?....................................red
4. Your mother? .................................fair
5. Your father?..................................bold
6. Your favorite thing?..........................laughter
7. Your dream last night?........................scattered
8. Your favorite drink...........................diet
9. Your dream/goal?..............................evolving
10. The room you're in?..........................loud
11. Your children?...............................active
12. Your fear?...................................lonliness
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years...........here
14. Where were you last night?...................bed
15. What you're not?.............................thin
16. Muffins......................................blueberry
17. One of your wish list items?.................rockband
18. Where you grew up?...........................smallsville
19. What you read last...........................eclipse
20. What are you wearing?........................clothes
21. Your TV?.....................................paused
22. Your pets?...................................dead
23. Your computer? ..............................old
24. Your life?...................................busy
25. Your mood?...................................medicated
26. Missing someone?.............................always
27. Your car?....................................frumpy
28. Something you're not wearing?................bra
29. Favorite Store?..............................costco
30. Your summer?.................................undetermined
31. Like someone?................................many
32. Your favorite color?.........................all
33. Last time you laughed........................dinner
34. Last time you cried?.........................movie


Thanks Leslie This was fun. Some were easy. Most - not so much.

look what they did!

wow...bummer. It's not nearly as impressive as it was in real life. Maybe the long ass list of sayings will give some indication on how my ROCKING friends pulled off another kick ass birthday yard attack!

It's such a cool tradition. One I don't think I'll ever get tired of (maybe cuz I just follow the leader (coughcoughbethandmaddycoughcough) and never really have to do the hard part...like organized it, or go to the store, or actually remember what day anyone's birthday lands on. None of that technical (super important) stuff like that.) I just participate in the actual attack. It's maximum pleasure with minimum mental energy spent. My kind of good time.

This year's theme was brought to you (well me) by the letter "m". Can't imagine why.


Maybe this has something to do with it. *smirk*








Here are (most) of the quotes, in random order. Some even I can't put out there for you people to read. I mean, I do have my limits ya know (BWHAHAHA okay THAT is funny!) I'll have you know, I know which ones are Maddy's and I have to tell you - SHE SWORE!! I'm so proud. It's not the F bomb, and she won't be going to hell (like me) but it's a start. Baby steps grasshopper baby steps.

1. you're worth every hour I spent cutting and taping these damn M's.
2. Beer me!
3. T-R-O-I-S; right?
4. I was thinking about "lifting" your birthday present but decided decorating your lawn more fun than jail.
5. At least you don't live in Kentucky.
6. Did you notice I changed my blog...and you cant' tell I like pink!
7. I don't think we've ever gotten to do this in the middle of the day before! It's kinda fun :)
8. My son is a baseball allstart...to me!
10. So, are you pregnant? hahaha slap me now.
11. Are you calling me FAT?
12. Would you say that you might be *slightly* obsessive?
13. I'll kick your butt on the Wii trampoline!
14. We all got "lifted" Can ya work on "tucked" next?
15. bow chicka bow wow
16. You're friends RAWK!
17. Smile like a donut!
18. Some of my best friends are hookers.
19. I'm a vanilla girl
20. Oh my hell
21. Do you feel the love!
22. Put santa away. Seriously.
23. Commas. Use'em and abuse'em.
24. My kids are cuter than yours.
25. crakalicious
26. kiss my a$$
27. Thank heavens for a Cricut.
28. Little girls are fun to hug, fress in pink, and do their hair.
29. Just between you and me...
30. I got this GREAT idea and 2 years later a book appeared!
31. It's up your ass...can ya feel it?
32. Christmas is over, freak!
33. I get you. I really, really get you!
34. Lift this!
35. Let's go to Outback tonight!
36. nice use of assage.
37. I love color, lots of color.
38. Welcome to my prison...er, living room.
39. Do I know you? Have you met my book?
40. You rock!
41. Love me...love my blog!!
42. My husband refuses to read my blog. Bastard.
43. Say hello to my little friend.
44. I have the best friends!
45. R they up your ass?
46. Bite me!
47. Lift this, Biotch
48. HOLA!!!
49. Peter likes pop rocks
50. Love you!
51. What makes your books so "lifted"
52. I'll sell you this M for 50 cents.
53. Michelle * making crack * marvelous * merry * majorily awesome * magical * may birthday * making crack
54. Can you watch my dog?
55. Not straight. Now stop calling me an overachieving perfectionist, dammit!
56. Do your spirits need to be "lifted"?
57. Thank you, Captain Obvious!
58. Would you say you have "scads" of books?
59. I just "lifted" 2 1/2 tons.
60. Merry Christmas! Greatest holiday EVER!
61. It's called SNOPES! Use it.
62. I'm at work but I can redesign your blog.
63. What? Sorry, I was lookin' at my blog.
64. Head Hooker :) (and I do mean head)
65. Yes I'll watch your kids.
66. I *heart* Edward
67. Will all the "lifted" jokes ever get old?
68. Just keep the drinks coming
69. The paint chips were easier
70. Happy Birthday!
71. Make the call, Really :)
72. You suck! No wait, you blow
73. Today's birthday has been brought to you by the letter... M
74. Little Miss "I'm not going to be able to do anything, no wait, I am and it will be amazing and I'm going to upstage all the rest of you!"
75. {M} whatever that means
76. The "m"'s are actually my subliminal way of trying to brainwash you to be Mormon.
77. This M is a forward. Pass it along to 10 friends now --- or you will die.
78. If I were you, I would have done them last minute :)
79. OKay -- Some of these are "lame" but you have to admit, some of them are Hee-larious
80. Have I said happy birthday yet?
81. I hope you know who did all the work -- beth :)
82. I need to talk to my cleaning lady...will you translate?
83. So totally hypothetical situation...I have a "friend" with a bubble on her taint...
84. Hey - whatever happened with the book?
85. M is for...MWAY
86. You drive!
87. It's my birthday and all I got were these stupid M's.
88. "I swear" but only on your birthday M'sm
89. The devine Miss M.

PHEW!!!

Y'all are crazy! And I love you!!! Thanks for making me feel so special!

did I ever post this pic?

yes, it's official, I am the single laziest person on the planet. So lazy in fact that I'd rather ask if I've posted this picture rather than look it up myself. silly.

This pic was taken a while ago. Right before Easter I think. So it's not like I'm up to the second up to date with the photos. But, remember, I had a full CF card, so there's a lot of pictures to get up here. And, sadly for y'all, I'm going to space them out a bit rather than blow my wad with one massive post (oh yes I said that) and then never post again. Anyway, this is about as creative as I've been with photography lately. Pathetic huh? Even still, I like it. Sarah is such a happy girl and looking at her just makes me smile. Like even when I'm totally fed up with her not listeningness, I always smile when I see her on film (or pixels as the case may be)

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I like this one too. This is as good as I can 'did' her hair. Yep, two bobby pins in an X folks, those are my mad skillz. Jennifer AnistonISH bouncy 90's hair done up making my 4 year old look 22. Pretty sure that's going to bite me in the ass some day.

Let's get some pictures up in here

I finally spent some time moving pictures around. Not really by choice, I pretty much HAD to do it. The need presented itself when I was, quite literally, deleting duds while the CF card was in my camera IN THE PEW AT CHURCH just before Noah's confirmation so I could get a shot of his big moment. How's that for preparation?

Anyway, however I got there, I got there. I've some pictures for your viewing pleasure (hahaha I love that expression)

Here's what you are looking at. Last week Noah made his confirmation and first Holy Communion in the Catholic Church. We were allowed to take pictures (yah, like try n'stop us) as long as we didn't leave our seats. We were right in front so I was able to get a few decent shots while abiding to that rule. I'm a such a good doobie.



Noah with Dylan, his confirmation sponsor. Two great human beings right there.

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The actual "confirmation" process which is pretty much laying of the hands and anointing with oils and some prayers. Not to make light of this sacrament, but after so much work and dedication part of me thinks we should all hollar out the candidate's name and say something rocking like, "Yo my christian peeps, this is the kick ass catholic little man, noah, give him a shout out, y'all" Not sure why I think this. It's not like I talk like that (will cept the kick ass and y'all parts) and I'm right there with being reverent in Church, but man, a little raise the roof might be cool. no?

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Taking the host which was 'dry and crispy'. Yep, pretty much dude. Eat it a couple hundred more time and you'll start to get it. maybe.

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And the cup. My personal favorite. Jury is out on what Noah thinks.

There you have it. Noah has the card to prove he's well on his way to being completely brainwashed, just like we like it.

conversation with Peter while I am admiring my new blog look

Me: My blog rocks.
Him: Yes, dear.
Me: You've never even read my blog have you?
Him: I live your blog, why would I need to read it.
Me: Bastard.
Him: Well, am I wrong?
Me: Oh, you might be surprised.
Him: uh huh.
Me: Screw you.
.
.
.
Me: I am blogging this.
Him: You are proving my point.



bastard.

a new look

I was super bored at work yesterday and since I can't update y'all with the official launch of the perfectly working website I thought I would give the blog a new little look. You know, while I was working. I'm such a wonderful employee.

Blogger has done a very nice job with new customization of their blog templates, so I messed around a bit. I might just make a new blog look my thing, rather than actually writing stuff and posting pictures. Oh I can feel your excitement about that idea. ha!!

bunches has gone on in the personal life department. When I stop being lazy (and overwhelmed) with all the pictures I have to sort I'll post some.

That's I all I have for now. Off to watch Noah play baseball :)

as much as I love his face, it's time for something

ANYTHING, new.

I don't have much to say. k, that's a load of crap. I've got TONS to say, but can't really cuz "the" site isn't up and working right yet. But as soon as it is you better believe I'll be all up in your face!

If y'all are wondering what I've been up to, and I know you have(n't) it's been all about the book. I GOT IT!!!!! A week ago yesterday a semi with FIVE THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POUNDS - that's 2 1/2 TONS people - of lifted arrived at my door. crrrrazy!!! Been working on getting all the crap (and crap it is) figured out so I can PROPERLY handle this business.

My husband, the accountant, has laid down the law. NO MORE paying for stupid shit from the business account. Track all expenses. Keep receipts Keep receipts keep receipts (sense a pattern?) Don't do this. Can't do that. People go to jail over that. Our house in on the line. imPOtant shit - I tell ya.

So I've been a good little doobie and had even helped customize the P&L statement (don't even ask - no clue - I'm just regurgitating here) It's been kinda fun - I won't lie. I've developed invoices, and wholeaccount thingiamagigers, and something else that must have been important but has left my brain. All in all it's been very businessy over here. And you all know just how businessy I am. BAH!

So batten down the hatches. the book is here. it's like freaking real people. and I'm the hooker that's gotta sell'em!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOAH BEAR

Today Noah is 9. I can hardly believe it. I know everyone says their children are miracles, and we all are right, but this (not so) little boy has truly changed my life. He's made me a better person. He's made me more thankful. He saved me from myself. All by just being.

So this post is just for you, Bear. Thanks babe, for being you. I hope you have a terrific day!!! To copy what my super smart and clever friends do, ere are NINE things that I adore about you - in on particular order.

1. You are super compassionate. Even as a little baby you cared when others were hurt or sad and would do your best to comfort them. You've already seen Mommy in some pretty sad places and you've always known exactly how and to comfort me. I truly believe this is your most valuable asset.

2. You have the best manners ever. Everyone compliments you about how gracious you are. I sometimes even get the credit for it. While I wish I could take that credit, I have to say that's just how you are. You actually care to be polite. I've helped, but you pretty much came out that way.

3. You try your best at everything you do. Even those things that don't come easily for you, you try. We've talked about this, I don't expect perfection from you. I just expect that you try, and you (pretty much always) do.

4. You love your sisters and include them in your life. No, wait, You LIKE your sisters. That's almost more important. You are prone to love them because you are related, it takes a decision on your part to like them and want to spend time with them. Next to Daddy, you will be the most important boy in their life. Some might worry about this, but I'm confident you won't have a problem living up to that role.

5. You prefer vanilla ice cream over any other flavor, just like me. Add caramel and we're in heaven. I can't wait until our next one-on-one Dairy Queen Trip.

6. You can throw a hard, straight, perfectly aimed ball from short stop to first base for the out! Who am I kidding? You can do pretty much anything on the baseball field!

7. You a major goodball, and proud of it! I love it when you and I goof off in the car, laughing our heads off!

8. You let me take pictures of you whenever I want. You sit for me while I test out photoshoot settings and only complain a little bit about it (and you don't charge me!)

9. You love everyone, and allow them to love you. You are always the kid everyone likes and wants to hang with but yet, you would never brag about that. If would never know by talking with you that you had a ton of friends. You have a way of making the person you are with feel like they are the most important person in the room. Funny thing is, you have no idea that you do that. Which makes it all the better.

WE LOVE YOU TO PIECES!!!

Say hello to my little friend

Okay, so this oh so cute little guy doesn't live with me, but he should! Found him somewhere on etsy and saved his photo for this very post.

HAPPY EASTER MY PEEPS!

more equalnicity

here's Noah...man how much I love him. This look...it's the look of him. This is the real him when he's not running around, flopping, throwing, screaming, tackleing, jumping, or rolling. Pure Noah. How one child can be so damn energetic and so compassionate is beyond me. Not that this picture displays either trait, but trust me, he's both.



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And here's the energy honed in on one thing. This pic is about a month old. I need to get a new one with this movement corrected. This was his "easy going doing it for the sportmanship" NYS league. Pretty laid back for a boy who's play 3 year previous but still great practice for the more intense kid-pitch league.

Noah's now is 'real' little league. Like Little League. We are very fortunate to have an amazing set of coaches who really know the game and how to teach it. our boy is so very coachable and is taking it all in like the sponge that he is. I'll have to have a series on this new and improved wind up. It's pretty damn cool.




And with that I feel all is equal in expressing-my-love-for-my-children-in-pictures blogging. I wonder who I'll favor next :)

super random crap

So Noah's sitting on the floor at the coffee table diligently doing his spelling homework. I'm sitting right here at the computer dilignetly doing, well, not a damn thing, when I hear "BURP...oh...didn't see that one coming...excuse me" Didn't skip a beat. Didn't look up. Just went on writing out his words. Freaking cracked me up.

Of course, now that's he done it 5 times since it's not so cute. Gotta love almost-9-year-old-boy humor.

Here are some things I found on Etsy (while diligently doing nothing) that made me laugh.

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Found this in the "house warming gift section" Now I ask does this really say "hi, I'm your new neigher, nice to meet you" or does it say something like “thanks for moving in, dickhead”


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This was in the "wedding gift section"...yeah. thanks a lot...a gift card from target too good for ya? Does this really say congratulations to the bride and groom? Or “I’ll love you until I suck every last little drop of life out of you, leaving you a mere shell of your former self, dried up and hanging till someone flushes you down the toilet.”


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And this...really? why??? Are people really have problems with their produce catching a chill???


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And finally...anyone ever watch Southpark? okay if you haven't then nevermind. But if you did, doesn't think look like spanky and his gay lover on a stick???? Man, ruined popsickles for me forever.

And that's my random crap for the day!

tagged

Kaelene tagged me. So here are seven things you may not know about me.

1. I love being tagged. Prolly cuz I get to talk about myself :)

2. I played the trumpet in high school. Was pretty good, too. I was all about music while in school. No, don't ask me to play now, couldn't do it, forgot everything.

3. I am crazy about boxes. Any shape or size or purpose (or lack thereof). I love them all. I tend not to by them, though. Ever. Really just out of fear that once I buy one I'll buy thousands and my house will be taken over by useless boxes, all too small to live in after spending all my money and they forclose on my house.

4. One of the things I love best about Peter is that he thinks I'm funny! Not only does he GET my jokes, but he laughs his ass off at them.

5. There was a (rather huge) part of me that never really thought I would finish the book. Always lingering in my mind - every second I worked on it - was that question on why I was pushing so hard. Why bother? cuz I wasn't going to actually get it done. I always wanted to, just didn't think I would really be able to. I've, quite honestly, never been more proud of myself for having done it.

6. While I playing pitcher and catcher for the high school fast pitch softball team (not at the same time) I am not terrified of catching, err missing, balls. I freaked out just the other day when trying to play catch with Noah. This is one I need to work on.

7. I can't stand taking showers. Love being clean. Just don't much like the process of getting there.

well that's it. suppose I need to tag 7 other people but Kaelene took them all LOL So I'll just tag the same ones she did :)

equal time

She makes me just has happy :) Here are just 3 of her many faces. Our children are nothing if not animated.


"Yeah, I'm cute and I know it. Go ahead, try not to smile."



"oh wait, what's going on up there. Daddy telling me how cute I am?"




"yeah, I'm pretty much done with this now, Mom"



The boy is coming soon. Got the pics all picked out and everything :) But wouldn't want to use up all my bloggin ideas now would I? OH! and I scrapbooked the other day! There's another post. Go me! :)