emails that make me wanna buy shit I don't need and replace shit I already have

HOLY CRAP!!! Damn Crate and Barrel. I'd have to buy new dining chairs to even start to get this look.

these chair covers ARE. THE. SINGLE. CUTEST. THINGS. E-VER!!!

well...next to noah, sarah and kate :)

when it's not you it's funny

Had some day today. Thankfully there are no pictures to show you. You''ll see why...

So I headed off to Peoria to do a field survey of an existing Elementary School. It's all good. I'm happy because I brought Ali with me. Ali is a draftsman at work who I was able to pull from away from the other guys to help gather information about the job site. He's young and fun and kinda cute (not my type at all but he's still cute, I'd say)

We get there a bit early which was cool because I thought we were running late. Traffic was good so the normally 50 minute drive was cut to 35 :) yippee. I might have been actually skipping, or at least that's my excuse, because while I'm heading across the parking lot I step on a rock, twist my foot, and fall HEAD FIRST to the ground.

Can you say embarrassing???

To make matters worse, besides Ali, I had an audience of 10-15 construction workers who were in the street standing around watching one guy twist some long ass tool in a manhole. perrrrfect. witnesses.

I jump up (and let me tell you - I bounced up faster than my fat ass has moved in a very long time) and check my knee. It's scrapped but nothing too bad. Ali, bless his heart, is asking if I'm okay and acting all pissed at the freakin pebble that tripped me! I'd be in love with him had he not, only seconds after returning to the office, laughed his ass off while telling the guys how I fell on the smallest rock on the planet. bastard! :)

One of the construction workers asked if I was okay. I chuckled (I could have cried) and said, "yeah, I'm fine. Just a bruised ego." eeeeeeeveryone laughed. Yeah...funny guys.

THEN (yes, there's more) as I'm waiting for my client I decide I'd like a drink of my soda from the car. I safely manuvuer my way back accross the parking lot (swiftly kicked that fucking pebble, errr boulder!) and realize I don't have my car keys. I left them in the car. On the back seat. Where they are mostly certainly not supposed to be. Like a complete moron.

Two calls to my husband, 40 minutes and 50 bucks later I was back in my car.

Funny huh? yah, go ahead, laugh away bitches! Some day you'll fall on your ass and lock yourself out of your car and who'll be there yuckin' it up with the neighboring construction workers??? Me and Ali :)

name change

I've changed the name of my blog. I've been thinking about this for a some time now. While I loved the old [randomness] it's not me. Well, not true, it's VERY me. I am completely random. But I love a good play on words. Something I got from my Mom, who was a master of the pun and plays on words.

So in honor of her I now dub my blog "i swear!"

MAINLY because, face it, I DO. You know it, I know it. Hell, my Dad taught me it (sorry daddy!)

and secondly because this is the place I come to vent about the randonmess of live. Where I think (and now will say) "I swear, this is some crazy shit"

Pretty sure this name change won't get me to post more, or have more time to post, or have funny ass things to post about. But I SWEAR I'll try.

if case you were wondering

It's official. I don't pay attention. Well at least I don't to internet stuff, and changes that happen to the net. Even when it involves me, I somehow think it's not important and completely ignore it. Whatever 'it' is.

Case in point. Blogger was bought out or something by Google, I think. I'm guessing here because for weeks, when I log on to blogger to post a comment (or edit one, or reply to on my blog, or reply on another blog) it (it being the big blogger 'hub' server thing in the sky) has been flashing crap at me about how my 'new and improved' blog is now available...somewhere and that I should go there now to see all the new stuff I can do.

I completly ignore these comments.

Until, of course, even *I* can't log on to my blog. Time to pay attention. Now I'm playing catch up. "what the hell did all that crap say to me?", "Where do I go now to create my new and improved blog?", "Dammit man, I hate this shit, I just want this stupid blogger dealy to work!!!"

So I thought I did whatever it is I needed to do to get my new and improved blog. I went into the link provided (was it to google?? I dunno, I wasn't really paying attention) and filled in all the little boxes that had that little red asterick next to it. You know the ones, they are 'required' fields. OKay, did that, and WOO HOO I can blog again.

Or so I thought.

I can blog, but can't reply. Not anywhere. I can read my blog, but can't reply on it. I can read your blog, but no replying allowed. It tells me I have the wrong password, "NO I DON'T YOU STUPID BASTARDS! I HAVE THE SAME PASSWORD FOR EVERYTHING (forget that part would ya!) AND I KNOW HOW TO TYPE IT YOU STUPID PIECES OF FREE BLOGGING CRAP!!!!!"

Sooooooooooo, in case you were wondering why I'm not answering your questions here, or not replying on your blog, it's cuz I don't pay attention. and googles sucks. not in that order :)

Here's what I said (okay it's condensed) before I got that oh so annoying password bullshit!

Kerry, Love the room, and that video rocks. "Would you like to talk about the destruction of Western civilization?"
Maddy, Wow, that's a lot of bows :) Sadie is adorable. LOOOOVE the picks of her no lying down :) Can I hold her??? I promise I won't put her into REAL sleep.
Beth, Love the pages. Sorry y'all were sick.
Shanna, you rock, as usual.
Lisa, CONGRATS girl. Although the thought of you being a MIL and grandma (someday) makes me feel old. LOL havn't figured that one out. LOL
Tammi, that room ROCKS!!!!! and, or course, so does that page!

this month's Inspired by

Been kitting my class tonight. Got done in record time. Not sure how that happened but I'm certainly not complaining. Especially since I was on my own for the first time in months. Between Katie and Kaelene I've been a spoiled little girl.

So here you have it. my class, in all it's glory.

still working fo the'man

Thank you, my friends, for being concerned about me and being worried that I might actually not have a job. Your concern seriously made me happy. No small feat as of late.

Yes, I'm still gamefully employed. I knew I would be, to be honest. But what's the use of having 'company' if you can't be overly dramatic about every. single. little. thing. on. the. entire. planet? So I embellished. I'm sybil right now, what cha gonna do, CHALLENGE ME!! :)

In other news, the jail cell that is my living room is still there. Haven't gotten used to it yet, not that I expected to. I did get to Pottery Barn for a swatch book and have the next color that'll be going up. Wish me luck! I'll need it.

I ran into my friend Pam Black (HI Pam!) at the scrapbook store today, she told me a funny story about paint color {sidebar - do y'all know Pam? Yeah, she pretty much rocks. She's an interior designer and amazing scrapbooker, seriously. She and I started scrapbooking about the same time and would bump into eachother at sb etc all the time. We'd compare ideas, fawn over eachother's pages, and pretty much be totally inspired by eachother. Then she got really serious and her career as a scrapbooker took off! She pretty much blew me out of the water - but in a good way, make no mistake. Everything she's got she's EARNED! She's worked her ass off and it's cool to see someone so honest, hardworking and genuine really succeed in this industry. Like I said, she rocks! OKay - end sidebar} So, anyway, she tells me about a job that she was doing in Mesa where they went through something like 35 quarts of paint before they found the right one. 35! So she could feel my pain! I promise you, though, no way in holy freaking hell I'm painting any part of that wall 35 times.

I think. Unless of course I can't find the right color after 34 tries.

so, anyone hiring?

yeah, wondering if I'll be needing to start hitting the pavement again soon. I yelled at my boss this morning in our (new - let's make the office a happier better place) weekly meeting. Felt necessary at the time, but now I'm feeling foolish for getting emotional.

stupid girly emotions.

Men have it better, I think, when it comes to controlling this shit. Men don't tend to choke when confronted or take offense at a statement of fact.

I do. Sometimes more so than others. My stupid Aunt Flo is here (not that you needed to know that) so today was one of those days where my emotion got the better of me. stupid girly emotions.

sticks and stones

****DISCLAIMER****
if your children read over your shoulder MAKE THEM LEAVE.
This coversation is NOT for little eyes (and innocent mouths)

I had this pretty major flash back today. While I was rooting in the back of the spice cupboard for a packet of equal this little bottle of Dill Weed caught my eye. I instantly went back to high school when I used to use that term, with not so much affection.

Dillweed.

Try it, it's fun. Did y'all ever use that term?

After my flash back, I started thinking of all the other expression/curse words I've used over the years.
dillweed (covered that one)
dickwad
dickweed
dickhead
ahole
asshole
asswipe
jerkoff
jerkhead
jackass
jackhole
jackoff


then I went a little further, with words that didn't work so much. Jerkweed, dillhead, assoff.

Yes, my brain really works like this. I know I know....trust me, it's a lost cause, my brain. LOL

welcome to Cell Block D

I got a a crazy hair up my ass on Sunday and decided to paint the very large yellow wall in my Living Room this (what I thought would be) a killer "pottery barnish" blue color.

Yeah, not so much.

It's like the inside of a jail now. NOT the effect I was going for. So I get to paint it again. Which

is fine. What I'm really not looking forward to doing is going back and fourth to Home Depot a billion times buying quart and quart of 'tester' paints until I find the exact right one.

But when it is done - it will rock!

everyone is doing it

I did my own little update on my sofa. Had to ya know, everyone else is doing it. Granted, I don't have beautiful brand new couches to share with everyone. And, according to Peter, the 8 year old SUPER crappy, was a POS when I bought it new, couch is good enough. Because, naturally, HE never sits in there.

So after I painted my wall (in color of the inside of a cell block D - come back tomorrow for that story) I decided to do a little sump'in to ole faithful. Got a 99 dolla dark brown slip cover from Target, and 4 KICK ASS tealish color pillows (also from Target) for 30% off! go me. It's no new couch, but for 150 bucks, including tax, at least it looks a teeny bit better.

Got some cool curtains too. The dorky, southwestern pottery fabric covered wood vallances are BYE BYE. Those aren't hung yet but, yeah, they rock. They were from Target after all :)

i need to post

I realize.

just.
too.
busy.

I will soon, promise.

my valentine's

Now that I officially have all three kids in school (or 'school' when I'm referring to daycare) I have a butt load of valentine thingies to give away. In true Michelle fashion, I left it till the 11th hour. Here's what I did last night


These are for Noah's class. I *try* not to make his girly. Kinda of hard for this holiday. But he approved. His were hand signed, by him, naturally. He did that at the bottom of the card. The couple you see here don't show that - he had to go to bed before I could finish printing them. told ya I waited till the last minute!

VD Count: 32 students, 3 teachers


The girls' are much easier as they are required to be girlie. Did a little work in Word. They're fun and were a big hit at 'school' LOL

VD count: 32 students and 2 teachers for Sarah, 12 students and 2 teachers for Kate, Plus school owner and director.

THAT'S 85 PEOPLE. feel sorry for me??? :)

Spent some bank at the grocery store for a bunch of crap for MY valentine's presents. It's become tradition to arrive with way too many ballons and cupcakes and gobs of pink crap designed to completely embarrass Peter. This year was no different. Even though he's has a new hoity toity position with a new company I've never actually been inside to see his office or meet his collegues. He admitted he thought (err hoped) I wouldn't come to the new place.

Yeah, he's silly. Of COURSE I came. I'm pretty sure he likes it, althought he'd never admit it.

This time I found ballons that SING! Seriously, the "main" balloon has a Barry White recording on it. CLASSIC!!! He also got a huge 'love bug' ballon with two smaller bug balloons on sticks (they all had eyes that moved inside) that I arranged in a pot of pink tulips to look as though they were kissing!!!!! (or humping depending on your viewing angle LMAO)

I also arrived with something like 6 dozen heart shaped cookies, standard balloons (that were color coordinated with the love bugs) a card and this dorky "I love you" heart-shaped snow globe that he'll have to keep on his desk forever. Or until *I* throw it away LMAO

I kill me :)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

my list

Do y'all have a list? You know, the list of men (or women I suppose) that if came a'knockin on your door you'd leave your husbands as fast as your little feet could take you?

I do :)

Peyton Manning has always been on my list. he's yummy. YUMMM-MMMMMEEEEE And after the super bowl he's still there. He wants me, I just know it. Now he's got that big ole trophy he can show me like he's trying to impress me. I'd be totally interested and proud that my 'new man' did something so amazing! I'd polish it and make sure it had the perfect place in our lovely 8000 s.f. home overlooking the view of wherever his- ahem OUR house - overlooks. Our 2.4 kids would have straight A's and scouts would be interviewing them out of 3rd grade.....

WAKE UP GIRL! okay I'm back. sorry bout that.

You know who else is on my list? Prince. Yeppers, something about that man. I just wanna lick him. Him and Johnny Depp. :p

the list is longer than those 3. But I wouldn't wanna seem greedy LOL

Ty-Red

I need a freaking nap! Aren't the weekends when you are supposed to catch up on stuff, like rest and relaxation? Where you are supposed to be calm and refocus on what's important? And like NOT WORK. Oh yeah, that's in lah lah land. Here on Planet Michelle there's nothing close to R&R happening.

Super busy weekend. Started Friday night when Kaelene came over and helped me kit my class that was only the very next morning. THANK YOU KK! Seriously could NOT have done it without her. She's a pure Godsend I tell ya!

Did the whole kit thing friday, mostly. Had a near nervous breakdown when we moved form my SB room to the living room so I could do my instructions on the computer. The kids made an especially nasty mess at dinner and the floor was, well, sticky and mushy at the same time. IT'S TILE people, no part of mush should be happening on tile. But alas, we line on Planet Michelle and the floor gets that way.

I just about lost my mind though, after nearly losing my shoe as it stuck to the floor. I had to take and scrape the floor clean. There is was, on all fours cursing like a sailor as I held back from bursting into tears. Nothing was sacred. Kids. house. Husband. They all got it. It wasn't pretty. Poor Kaelene just stood there not knowing whether to hug me or slap me across the face :)

The rest of the weekend went much more smoothly. did lots, y'all don't give a shit about the play by play though, so I won't bore you more than I already have ;)

week two

Little update on Kate and Daycare. Today, day 8 of being in school, was the first day she didn't cry when I left. WOO HOOO!!!! She's not eating the school food yet which has them freaked out (well and me too a little bit) We'll see how long that lasts.

The house still feels very strange without her here. It still feels like she's just taking a nap. I'm handling it well otherwise. Getting lots done for work. I guess she really did take up a lot of time. She's cranky yet cuddly when I pick her up so we've started this "kate and mommy" time after work where she just snuggles up to me. It's pretty great :)

Nothing else new really. Just working - TONS!

peace out
m

I'm back, and just as stupid as before.

UUUUUUUUUUGH! Y'all are going to shoot me. My BRRRRRRRILLIANT plan of taking my brother's kickass small camera to CHA with me completely backfired. As, unbeknownst to me upon departure, I had NO CLUE how to use his teeny handful of digital technology. I am now the proud "artist" who has 28 really crappy MOVIES and 45 even crappy still pictures. So the agravation I avoided by not carrying around my huge SLR was quickly replaced with the inability to figure out how to take a picture - not a movie - then how to take a photo that was in focus and properly lit. Something I was unable to totally (or ever remotely) figure out.

So I got crap to show you.

sorry :) You can boycot me if you wanna :( LOL

CHA was cool. Not as impressive as I thought it would be, but very cool even so. It was cool seeing what was going to coming out. Lots of good quality stuff out there. I didn't see anything that really was horrible. I'm glad I wasn't the one having to decide what to buy, that's for sure.

Here's my quick recap. I'm going to try to keep this short as I'm still really tired.

FELT. That's probable the newest thing everyone was doing. Felt flowers mainly. But I always saw felt fonts and some random shapes. If someone would have told me felt was the next 'thing' I would have instantly turned up my nose, but I'll admit I loved it. I can't wait to use me some felt.

ClEAR STAMPS. Eeeeeeeeeeveryone had them. Heidi Swapp had some nice new ones. Corner was that were cool. Other than that I can't think of anyone one line that stood out from the others. Lots of circle stamps (thanks for Ali I'm sure) None of it bad mind you. So if i sound like that I don't mean to. Just a lot of it.

BLUE. Blue is the new brown, and pink - combined. It was EVERYWHERE. I love blue - gonna paint my family room blue (or well I was before this) but dang - e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g was blue.

And of course CHIPBOARD and GLITTER - but COMBINED.

Had a great time. Really glad I was able to go (thanks again Lorie and Peter!!!) Out of it all I got something I hadn't expected (but certainly needed) a new found energy for the book. I'm all fired up about it and have put the wheels into motion again. Even opened the file and tweeked the cover a bit. It feels good and have set a goal of Summer CHA in Chicago. :) I can't wait!

m





p.s. it might go without saying but I'll say it anyway. If anyone wants to attend Summer CHA with me and volunteer pushing the newest book out there email me :) I will not be able to do this alone, but am broke LOL

here we go cha cha cha

My scrappin buddy and owner of Remember the Moments, Lorie, asked us MAS Girls if anyone wanted to go to CHA. For my non-scrapping readers (that's you Dad LOL) It's only the biggest hobby and craft convention in the nation. It's not open to the public so only "people in the know" get to go LOL okay so you have to be in the bi-ness.

I'm leaving this afternoon for 2 days of walking and fun checking out the latest and greatest in scrapbooking supplies. I'M SUPER EXCITED!!!

Got my brother's kick ass teeny camera so a'pictures I'll be a'taking. :)

THANKS LORIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <---yeah, I'm that grateful ;-P

Two in one day

I posted a whiny post a bit ago and while I would love to get all sorts of "we feel your pain Michelle" posts I've been cheered up and must pass the attention to Beth

You see, yesterday was Beth's birthday and, as she explains in her perfectly-detailed-martha-stewart-way, we 'attack' your yard on (or about) your birthday. Or if you special like Maddy you get it twice a year.

We just get better and better at this. Of course, it helps a bit that we are all over-achieving freaks who simply cannot do the same thing twice. So check out Beth's blog today. Her post rocks. Shanna's blog also goes into some of her past attacks.

Gotta give a few shout outs about this attack
to Kerry - thanks K-dawg for having the gate code and not being totally pissed that we called at 10pm for it.
to Shanna - KILLER idea dude!
to Maddy - for being with us in spirit. Seriously girl, we'll hold that baby ya know?
to Kaelene - who helped this time :) dems a lot a sticks huh girl?
And MOSTLY to the couple who spotted my kids unattended in the car last night - yeah PLEASE don't call CPS. My DH is out of town and I had to bring them. I mean really, how could I NOT have attacked her house. Come on - you saw it - IT ROCKED. And besides, your community is gated, and we all know nothing bad happenes in gated communities, right?

day three

It happened, Kate FREAKED out when I dropped her off at school. It was so random too because she RAN through the door and happy and giggly. Went up to her room, grabbed the door and bolted inside. She was ready and seemingly happy to be there.

Then she flipped. poor thing. I picked her up and she immediately tucked her head into my neck and started sucking her thumb. CUTENESS. Took all I had to not sit down and never leave. But I had to.

I know she's fine. I know she's in good hands. but dang, it's hard to leave when they are crying. But Shanna, you would have been proud, I didn't make it worse - on either of us.

I survived

I made it through the day. Felt a little off. Melancholy is probably the best word. Although completely depressed, nauseas, and at the verge of tears is accurate too.

But, I made it.

Kate did great. No surprise there. We'll see how tomorrow goes when she realizes I'm gone for what must seem to her like forever.

Thanks for the invite Beth. Sorry I couldn't make it - stupid job. I appreciate the thought! :)