He, my husband, forgot all about her, out baby, Kate. Seriously, F.O.R.G.O.T. her.
Here's the deal. We have a pretty simple nighttime routine. It has to be simple because by the end of the day I need simple. I can't handle the story time, the snuggle time, the "I need a drink" excuse, the 45-minute saga of getting them to bed. So I don't. The rest of the day is for all that. Bedtime is for sleeping.
This is how it goes. Around 7:30 and 7:45 we have Noah change his clothes and we give him 5 minutes to do with what he likes. He usually picks cartoons. Cool.
One of us changes Sarah, give her her medicine (stupid sinuses), tells her it's time to say goodnight, walks her into her room, put her in bed, she asks to be covered up, we cover her up, she says, "thank you" (how cute is that?!?), we leave, done.
We come back out and give Noah his 2 minute warning. Then 1 minute. Then bed. He usually comes out once asking me when I'm coming it to kiss him goodnight (as sometimes it's right away when he's still awake and sometimes it needs to be later because I have to leave in which case I tell him I'll come in after he's fallen asleep.) He's done.
During all this Kate is taking her evening nap. I find it odd she needs an evening nap, but she does. At this point my duties are done. It's Peter's job (which he loves) to wake Kate, change her, make her nighttime bottle, feed her and put her back down.
ALL THIS to get to last night. I finished getting the first 2 down and left for Barnes and Noble. I've finished all 6 Harry's and needed something to read. I leave, I shop, I find, I buy, I hang out, I read, I return, no biggie.
Morning comes and Kate's awake early. This is odd but I figure Noah woke her as he's known to do because he digs playing with her before school. I go in and she's in the clothes she wore yesterday. huh. "We must be out of jammies." I think to myself. Pick her up. Huh? Diaper seems full. "She must be growing out of this outfit making her diaper appear larger than it is," I, again, think to myself.
K. So, get the 2 big ones off to school and come back to feed Kate. I notice the lid is on the formula. *I* am the only person who actually puts the lid back on the formula. Peter never does it (which makes me nuts, but that's another topic). Now I KNOW something's up. I check the new box of rice cereal (that he puts into the nighttime bottle) Unopened.
He totally forgot to feed the baby. Didn't change her. Didn't feed her. Hell, he didn't even remember he had her!
Aw well. It could have been worse. He could have forgotten her on the top of the car!
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
trick or treat
Here they are, my little angels. Who weren't angels at all. At least not in costume. :)
We had a fabulous time on Halloween. The kids were, in fact, angels. I couldn't have asked for better behavior from them. Noah finally got into it. I was starting to wonder about him. But he's 6 now and ran around totally getting into the whole thing. He dug it all. The decorated houses. The candy (duh). The other kids. He even gave a respectful "thank you" at each house. That's my boy!
Sarah didn't quite get it. We had to pursuade her to go up to the door, then we'd have to coax her to leave the door. This happened every time, which caused us to skip many houses. Which is fine by us because she doesn't even see the candy at all anyway. So the less she has the less we have to eat. Even though it was slow going she seemed to really have fun.
And finally, Kate. Yeah, she slept! She was cute doing it though! :)
We also got a good bunch of trick-or-treaters, so I'm told by my brother, his girlfriend and her 'Granny' who stood post at our house while we went out as a whole (thanks guys!) Our neighborhood has been known to have many (okay hundreds) of kids (okay young adults) trucked in for the "good" candy. I guess we have a reputation. Or we did anyway. There seemed to be less this year. That or I'm just getting used to it and it didn't bother me. Which is fine with me too.
So that was our evening in a nutshell. Had a great time and there wasn't a nasty candy corn in sight. So I'm left with pics of cute kids and good candy. :)
Monday, October 31, 2005
not much time
Been a crazy day already (it's only 10:00 am) and I don't see an end in sight. Then, when do I not have a crazy day eh? I say that like y'all would know something about me seeing how much I update this thing. ah well, sorry!
In my rush of a day I thought I'd share this little story for you today. It made me smile. Email is good.
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more churches than there are casinos. It's no surprise, though, that many worshippers at weekend services donate casino chips instead of cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have joined together in a method to cash-in the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery. For a small fee, the chips are sorted, returned to the casinos of origin, and proceeds forwarded to the respective churches.
This is all done by the chip monks.
Didn't see that coming, did you?
In my rush of a day I thought I'd share this little story for you today. It made me smile. Email is good.
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more churches than there are casinos. It's no surprise, though, that many worshippers at weekend services donate casino chips instead of cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have joined together in a method to cash-in the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery. For a small fee, the chips are sorted, returned to the casinos of origin, and proceeds forwarded to the respective churches.
This is all done by the chip monks.
Didn't see that coming, did you?
Thursday, October 20, 2005
chew on this...super deep
So I decided to sponsor a canidate through the conversion process at our Church (Catholic Church, not some crazy cult like church, not that Catholics aren't crazy!) We meet every Monday to be taught be the Sister for an hour then break into groups and go over the readings for the next week and discuss them at length. Even though I call it my "brainwashing class, I think it's very cool.
In last week's class a couple things really hit home to me, and I decided to share. While Sister was explaining how Christ died for allour sins and that his love is poured on everyone she went deeper into loving your neighbor. The Church believes you must not only love God, and your neighbor, but stangers and even your enemies, for that is what Christ did.
yea, that's easier said than done. But we try right?
She went on to say that if you (and I will not say this like she did, I'll likely butcher it, but trust me it sounded cool coming out of her mouth) if you choose not to love all that you can't truly say that you love God. That you have earned the right to say that.
wow. ouch.
Then, in our groups the leader said something that really hit it home. He quoted the Father of our parish, saying, "Your relationship with God is only as strong as your relationship with your worst enemy"
again, ow!
But, after thinking about this a bit I'd say it's true. Especially since
I tend to be my worst enemy. Something I need to work on, loving myself. How does it go? You can't give away something you don't have? So, if I don't love myself how can I love others, even my God.
Told ya it was deep.
In last week's class a couple things really hit home to me, and I decided to share. While Sister was explaining how Christ died for allour sins and that his love is poured on everyone she went deeper into loving your neighbor. The Church believes you must not only love God, and your neighbor, but stangers and even your enemies, for that is what Christ did.
yea, that's easier said than done. But we try right?
She went on to say that if you (and I will not say this like she did, I'll likely butcher it, but trust me it sounded cool coming out of her mouth) if you choose not to love all that you can't truly say that you love God. That you have earned the right to say that.
wow. ouch.
Then, in our groups the leader said something that really hit it home. He quoted the Father of our parish, saying, "Your relationship with God is only as strong as your relationship with your worst enemy"
again, ow!
But, after thinking about this a bit I'd say it's true. Especially since
I tend to be my worst enemy. Something I need to work on, loving myself. How does it go? You can't give away something you don't have? So, if I don't love myself how can I love others, even my God.
Told ya it was deep.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
glasses
sometimes i wish I wore glasses. The cool funky looking ones that seem to be so damn cute on my friends. I wanna wear them (damn this 20/20 vision) so I an look 'cool'. I sometimes think that if I actually wore these cute, hip, funky glasses that I'll be cool. But then I realize - slash - admit to myself - that it's the person who is cool.
not the glasses.
not the glasses.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
ooooooooooh! the pressure
It's halloween costume picking time and I'm about ready to lose my mind. I love halloween. Love it! But the need to outdo myself every year is just torture.
Noah's always been pretty easy. When he was little little he was "Noah" (duh!) and then a duck, then Hopper-the big grasshopper from The Bug's Life, Then Hopper again (it was a really cool costume and what the hell, he was 4 and we'd just changed schools so no one saw it HAHA) then Spiderman, then Batman. He's now old enough to have a real say it what he is and the pressure is off that *I* have chosen his costume. So it's either a football player or skeleton. That's what he wants and I'm cool with that.
Boy stuff. Easy peasy.
Sarah....ahh....my little girl. FINALLY! girl costumes. She was a Pea in a pod. and DAYUM was she cute. Then last year her costume ROCKED! She was a Hula Dancer. She had the coconut top and grass skirt. It was too die for. Everyone loved it. It was a proud costume picking moment.
So now I've got TWO girls to dress. ugh. the pressure. I found a simply adorable Princess Leia costume for Kate. But it's like 60 bucks. I'm sure I'll end up spending that much for a 6 month old's costume she'll hate being in. But I'm not ready to fork out that much money just so I can have people oogle at her and her insane cuteness. yet.
How do I top last year? Hula girl? Please...it's not top-able. Trust me. She was WAY cute.
I suppose could put her in the leia costume and then use it again next year for Kate. But I know me. I know I'll lose the stupid thing, or forget where I put it, or decide next year that I don't wanna copy costumes and I'll end up buying some other overpriced costume all to feed my ego that I have the best dressed little trick or treaters ever!
What's funny is I'm SO not this person who really cares what people think about my kids....or so I thought.
Noah's always been pretty easy. When he was little little he was "Noah" (duh!) and then a duck, then Hopper-the big grasshopper from The Bug's Life, Then Hopper again (it was a really cool costume and what the hell, he was 4 and we'd just changed schools so no one saw it HAHA) then Spiderman, then Batman. He's now old enough to have a real say it what he is and the pressure is off that *I* have chosen his costume. So it's either a football player or skeleton. That's what he wants and I'm cool with that.
Boy stuff. Easy peasy.
Sarah....ahh....my little girl. FINALLY! girl costumes. She was a Pea in a pod. and DAYUM was she cute. Then last year her costume ROCKED! She was a Hula Dancer. She had the coconut top and grass skirt. It was too die for. Everyone loved it. It was a proud costume picking moment.
So now I've got TWO girls to dress. ugh. the pressure. I found a simply adorable Princess Leia costume for Kate. But it's like 60 bucks. I'm sure I'll end up spending that much for a 6 month old's costume she'll hate being in. But I'm not ready to fork out that much money just so I can have people oogle at her and her insane cuteness. yet.
How do I top last year? Hula girl? Please...it's not top-able. Trust me. She was WAY cute.
I suppose could put her in the leia costume and then use it again next year for Kate. But I know me. I know I'll lose the stupid thing, or forget where I put it, or decide next year that I don't wanna copy costumes and I'll end up buying some other overpriced costume all to feed my ego that I have the best dressed little trick or treaters ever!
What's funny is I'm SO not this person who really cares what people think about my kids....or so I thought.
Monday, October 10, 2005
an open letter to the baby wearing mothers group who meet for lunch at the pizza place on fridays
I'm all for women's groups. I really am. I would even consider myself an integral part of one. Like your group, we get together to eat and chat and laugh and trade stuff. It's a good time.
There are some differences, however.
Starting with our kids. Yeah...we leave our kids at home. In our group, like yours, we have many kids. I do believe that we have children older than 4. I was impressed when I saw, between the 7 of you, something like 27 kids none of them over the age of 4. Impressive numbers. OH Wait! I take that back. There was one girl I guessed to be about 9. She looked bored to tears. I mean being at a children's pizza place with your mom, her friends and 47 little...darlings by yourself must be torture. But Maybe she was in trouble, who knows? Did she rob a bank or something?
But I digress.
On the occasion that the children join us I must say we tend to know where they are and what they are doing. A concept seemingly lost on all 7 of you. You see, while you 'wear' you infants in your lovingly handmade slings (and boy do they look comfy *eyeroll*) your remaining 72 children are running around like kids on crack. Is this the only time they get out? Do they realize they are in public? Do they know that the 3 seater horsy ride already has (paying) children riding it and that 8 more kids can't 'hitch a ride' without someone falling off or getting mawled?
Or course they don't. They're kids.
That's your job. Your responsibility. Believe it or not, the high schooler working the toy shop isn't going to properly correct your children on the ins and outs of sharing the horsy toy. Or waiting their turn for the baskball hoop. And I don't particulary like watching 2 year olds (who's parents are watching) get pushed off a ride because you are too busy coordinating your used clothing swap.
Did you even know they were running around crazed, hopped up on cinnamin crunch dessert pizza, without a thought of anyone else around them? Or do you believe that because you 'wear' your children until they are nearly two that they will require little (or no) supervision once you detached them from your hip?
And finally, let's talk about the nursing. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for nursing. I nursed all 3 of my kids. I know 'breast is best' and all. blah blah blah. Get that. But honestly, do you think the rest of the restaurant wants to see your exposed breast flop around whilst your little darling decides she's more interested in watching the 147 cracked out wild banchee children than staying latched?
To be fair, I'll admit I can't speak for the team of construction workers having lunch, or the group of teenagers hanging out while on fall break, or even the band of employees cleaning tables after the lunch rush. Who knows, I think those teenage boys might have enjoyed the peep show. I, however, prefer not to see a stanger's breast while having pizza with my 1st grader.
But then I sat there feeding my baby a bottle while she lay quietly in her carseat, so what do I know of parenting!
There are some differences, however.
Starting with our kids. Yeah...we leave our kids at home. In our group, like yours, we have many kids. I do believe that we have children older than 4. I was impressed when I saw, between the 7 of you, something like 27 kids none of them over the age of 4. Impressive numbers. OH Wait! I take that back. There was one girl I guessed to be about 9. She looked bored to tears. I mean being at a children's pizza place with your mom, her friends and 47 little...darlings by yourself must be torture. But Maybe she was in trouble, who knows? Did she rob a bank or something?
But I digress.
On the occasion that the children join us I must say we tend to know where they are and what they are doing. A concept seemingly lost on all 7 of you. You see, while you 'wear' you infants in your lovingly handmade slings (and boy do they look comfy *eyeroll*) your remaining 72 children are running around like kids on crack. Is this the only time they get out? Do they realize they are in public? Do they know that the 3 seater horsy ride already has (paying) children riding it and that 8 more kids can't 'hitch a ride' without someone falling off or getting mawled?
Or course they don't. They're kids.
That's your job. Your responsibility. Believe it or not, the high schooler working the toy shop isn't going to properly correct your children on the ins and outs of sharing the horsy toy. Or waiting their turn for the baskball hoop. And I don't particulary like watching 2 year olds (who's parents are watching) get pushed off a ride because you are too busy coordinating your used clothing swap.
Did you even know they were running around crazed, hopped up on cinnamin crunch dessert pizza, without a thought of anyone else around them? Or do you believe that because you 'wear' your children until they are nearly two that they will require little (or no) supervision once you detached them from your hip?
And finally, let's talk about the nursing. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for nursing. I nursed all 3 of my kids. I know 'breast is best' and all. blah blah blah. Get that. But honestly, do you think the rest of the restaurant wants to see your exposed breast flop around whilst your little darling decides she's more interested in watching the 147 cracked out wild banchee children than staying latched?
To be fair, I'll admit I can't speak for the team of construction workers having lunch, or the group of teenagers hanging out while on fall break, or even the band of employees cleaning tables after the lunch rush. Who knows, I think those teenage boys might have enjoyed the peep show. I, however, prefer not to see a stanger's breast while having pizza with my 1st grader.
But then I sat there feeding my baby a bottle while she lay quietly in her carseat, so what do I know of parenting!
Friday, September 30, 2005
I'm thinking I'm ready!
okay...breathe. I can do this!
Been gone a while. Have you noticed? Yeah, life has been a tad crazy over here, and well, my brain took a beating. When I say I've been gone I don't only mean from here. I mean from LIFE. Funny (not funny haha) how that works...once your mind starts to slip. It's hardly noticable at first. It's all so gradual. It's not until it's about 1/2 gone that you start to wonder what's going on, thinking, "something's not right here"
But you push it aside and figure it'll get better, tomorrow.
Well 2 years of tomorrows have past and things weren't getting better. Things were getting worse even. Not good. Let me just tell you, I wish someone would have told me about Post Pardum Depression (wait - somebody probably did - or nevermind that!) Yeah, that's some bad mamma-jamma stuff going on there. PPD. yuck.
Briefly (as briefly as I can tell a story) let me tell you how this went down. After 2 years of feeling on the edge and wondering were my brain went I really started to slip. About 4 months ago, after I figured I REALLY should have been doing better after having Kate, things got icky, in my brain. I wasn't coping. I couldn't do anything. I mean anything without it feeling totally overwhelming. And if I did start something it was nearly impossible to finish. Not a good thing when I have a "completed project" type job.
Then the bad thoughts started coming. The kind of thoughts like, "hey, if I got hit by a bus right now (and yes, died) it wouldn't be that bad." The first time I had this thought I wondered, "humm...that's a new one, never felt like that before" It wasn't like I wanted to jump in front of the bus. Or be driving the bus. I didn't feel like causing and deadly accident or actually hurting myself. But it was a very real and clear thought that it would be okay if something fatal happened to me. Then the thoughts happened more often, like every week. Then every day.
Then I stopped.
These are not normal thoughts. Not good thoughts. They are not okay. And I needed to stop having them. I went to my doctor and he totally understood, diagnosed me with PPD and put me on Lexapro. Within hours I started feeling better. (and yes it's probably in my head that I started feeling better so quickly, but it was in my head that I felt crappy so it works out)
I'm now medicated and things are better. Clear. Hadn't realized how fuzzy the last 2 years have been, since I had Sarah. I've all but lost them. I don't really remember anything of Sarah being 1 (which bites ass because I love 1 year olds). I was pregnant with Kate during that time and I was, not myself.
I'm SO thankful that I didn't have any negative feelings towards my children. I never resented them. I never felt like hurting them. I never felt like I wasn't taking good care of them. I never stopped loving them. For that I'm lucky. Not everyone who has PPD is so lucky.
My children are truly a joy to me now. It's nice being able to watch them without the fog. Damn they're cute! They continued growing and learning and being funny and adorable while I was fuzzy. Well I'm fuzzy no more and I'm so grateful for that. I'd hate to have lost anymore time with them.
So I'm back, and ready to carry on. Many funny things have happened while I was away that I'll try to get out of my brain and make funny here. I'm feeling better but don't hold your breathe on that last part! ;)
Been gone a while. Have you noticed? Yeah, life has been a tad crazy over here, and well, my brain took a beating. When I say I've been gone I don't only mean from here. I mean from LIFE. Funny (not funny haha) how that works...once your mind starts to slip. It's hardly noticable at first. It's all so gradual. It's not until it's about 1/2 gone that you start to wonder what's going on, thinking, "something's not right here"
But you push it aside and figure it'll get better, tomorrow.
Well 2 years of tomorrows have past and things weren't getting better. Things were getting worse even. Not good. Let me just tell you, I wish someone would have told me about Post Pardum Depression (wait - somebody probably did - or nevermind that!) Yeah, that's some bad mamma-jamma stuff going on there. PPD. yuck.
Briefly (as briefly as I can tell a story) let me tell you how this went down. After 2 years of feeling on the edge and wondering were my brain went I really started to slip. About 4 months ago, after I figured I REALLY should have been doing better after having Kate, things got icky, in my brain. I wasn't coping. I couldn't do anything. I mean anything without it feeling totally overwhelming. And if I did start something it was nearly impossible to finish. Not a good thing when I have a "completed project" type job.
Then the bad thoughts started coming. The kind of thoughts like, "hey, if I got hit by a bus right now (and yes, died) it wouldn't be that bad." The first time I had this thought I wondered, "humm...that's a new one, never felt like that before" It wasn't like I wanted to jump in front of the bus. Or be driving the bus. I didn't feel like causing and deadly accident or actually hurting myself. But it was a very real and clear thought that it would be okay if something fatal happened to me. Then the thoughts happened more often, like every week. Then every day.
Then I stopped.
These are not normal thoughts. Not good thoughts. They are not okay. And I needed to stop having them. I went to my doctor and he totally understood, diagnosed me with PPD and put me on Lexapro. Within hours I started feeling better. (and yes it's probably in my head that I started feeling better so quickly, but it was in my head that I felt crappy so it works out)
I'm now medicated and things are better. Clear. Hadn't realized how fuzzy the last 2 years have been, since I had Sarah. I've all but lost them. I don't really remember anything of Sarah being 1 (which bites ass because I love 1 year olds). I was pregnant with Kate during that time and I was, not myself.
I'm SO thankful that I didn't have any negative feelings towards my children. I never resented them. I never felt like hurting them. I never felt like I wasn't taking good care of them. I never stopped loving them. For that I'm lucky. Not everyone who has PPD is so lucky.
My children are truly a joy to me now. It's nice being able to watch them without the fog. Damn they're cute! They continued growing and learning and being funny and adorable while I was fuzzy. Well I'm fuzzy no more and I'm so grateful for that. I'd hate to have lost anymore time with them.
So I'm back, and ready to carry on. Many funny things have happened while I was away that I'll try to get out of my brain and make funny here. I'm feeling better but don't hold your breathe on that last part! ;)
Monday, September 12, 2005
once again
He let me sleep in again. Wonder what he wants! hahaha
Or maybe he did because he knows I've been working my tail off, 12 hour days at my 'real' job, working on my next class, and back to back all nighters at the sb store. Maybe he's just a really nice guy who, after 4 years together, has decided he'll get up with the kids so I can rest.
nah...he wants something :)
Or maybe he did because he knows I've been working my tail off, 12 hour days at my 'real' job, working on my next class, and back to back all nighters at the sb store. Maybe he's just a really nice guy who, after 4 years together, has decided he'll get up with the kids so I can rest.
nah...he wants something :)
Friday, September 09, 2005
what is she thinking?!?!
Do you ever wonder WTH people are thinking when they same/do something? Oh, dumb question, I know you do. This story (rant) is about someone who's clearly not getting it.
As an electrical designer, one of my jobs is to design lighting and control systems for lighting. One of my big jobs, which hasn't been going smoothly for many reasons, is REALLY behind schedule. It's a big fancy gold clubhouse building for the uber rich in California. We're pluggin away on this job when the architect (in the middle/end of the job) to hire a lighting designer. AHEM! okay THAT'S MY JOB!
Great! So now I have to try and coordinate with this lady, We'll call her "J". Well we're still plugging away but I'm not getting any information from J. This is holding me up and I have to stop work on the job. I write emails to my client telling them that I have to have this info before I can continue work.
they ignore me.
Then I get an email with a new deadline. They (the architect) want the job in 6 days. HAHAHAHAAAAaaa....yeah that's rich. I email back that I can't make that deadline because I haven't seen anything from J (who - get this - is getting an INSANE amount of money) I remind them that I'm not working on it right now and that I'll need AT LEAST 2 weeks to finish AFTER I get all the info from her.
so we have a conference call.
It's me, the architect and J. For an hour we discuss who's doing what (or how much she's NOT doing) and the issues I see with the changes she's made to the lighting design. Bottom line though - we need to finish this job THIS MONTH (issues with the city and some hearing on the job that requires this job be finished by the end of the month)
So we're finalizing some decisions we've made, changed some of her design and get to down and dirty on schedule. This is how the convo goes. This was yesterday at 6:00 pm)
Me: "Okay I'll need 2 weeks after the J is done. So J, can I get your info tomorrow? That will put me done on the 26 so we can submit before the end of the month."
J: "Can't tomorrow, I'll have to pick up all these changes. It will have to be Monday. We work half days on Friday."
WTF!?!?! HALF DAYS!!!!!!!!!! unbelievable. Thank God her client was on the phone. He sure found out where he stands on her schedule.
As an electrical designer, one of my jobs is to design lighting and control systems for lighting. One of my big jobs, which hasn't been going smoothly for many reasons, is REALLY behind schedule. It's a big fancy gold clubhouse building for the uber rich in California. We're pluggin away on this job when the architect (in the middle/end of the job) to hire a lighting designer. AHEM! okay THAT'S MY JOB!
Great! So now I have to try and coordinate with this lady, We'll call her "J". Well we're still plugging away but I'm not getting any information from J. This is holding me up and I have to stop work on the job. I write emails to my client telling them that I have to have this info before I can continue work.
they ignore me.
Then I get an email with a new deadline. They (the architect) want the job in 6 days. HAHAHAHAAAAaaa....yeah that's rich. I email back that I can't make that deadline because I haven't seen anything from J (who - get this - is getting an INSANE amount of money) I remind them that I'm not working on it right now and that I'll need AT LEAST 2 weeks to finish AFTER I get all the info from her.
so we have a conference call.
It's me, the architect and J. For an hour we discuss who's doing what (or how much she's NOT doing) and the issues I see with the changes she's made to the lighting design. Bottom line though - we need to finish this job THIS MONTH (issues with the city and some hearing on the job that requires this job be finished by the end of the month)
So we're finalizing some decisions we've made, changed some of her design and get to down and dirty on schedule. This is how the convo goes. This was yesterday at 6:00 pm)
Me: "Okay I'll need 2 weeks after the J is done. So J, can I get your info tomorrow? That will put me done on the 26 so we can submit before the end of the month."
J: "Can't tomorrow, I'll have to pick up all these changes. It will have to be Monday. We work half days on Friday."
WTF!?!?! HALF DAYS!!!!!!!!!! unbelievable. Thank God her client was on the phone. He sure found out where he stands on her schedule.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
and I was all set to yell at him
Had a morning. Really it was the kind I'd expected, while I was expecting, to have every morning. I haven't had many those. We've gotten into pretty good routine, morning wise, so - believe it or not - it's pretty orderly here first thing.
Today wasn't like that however. Started off with Peter waking up a little late. That throws everything off. Mainly because when he's late, I'm a little late. He also pulls the, "I've got to get off to work NOW" card, which I hate. The few things (okay the one thing) he does in the morning to help, which is to get Noah's cereal going, doesn't get done. Or well it gets done, just not by him. Can you guess who does it? ***waving*** yeah, that would be me. Not only is he bookin' outta here he asks if I can drop his drycleaning off. He's too busy. I'm slightly annoyed but hey, I suck it up and agree. This isn't a big thing right? nah.
It also throws Noah off a little when we wake up late. Not completely sure why. Though I suspect it's because Peter and I are both cranky and he feeds off that. So now he's giving me a hard time. "these shoes are uncomfortable" (turns out one was the wrong size HAHAHAA) "I don't want my hair spiked", "I don't know where I left my lunchbox" ERR!
Carpool finally comes and he's off. phew! Things are easy from here on out. Usually. The girls, without the energy and distraction of the boy, are easy.
uh huh...
I take a shower. Do my face and hair as per usual. It's all good. Kate's awake. Actually has been since before Peter. She's hangin in the swing. Still good.
Then I enter...Sarah's room. yeah...things go south from here on out.
Have I mentioned Sarah's newest 'thing'? Don't think I have. NO! I have. The thing were she gets all nekid in the morning! That thing. Remember it? yeeeeah......well it happened. Being without her clothes colided with a bowel movement.
niiiiiiiiiiice
2 baths, 2 washclothes, and 20 minutes later - she's clean. Yeah, that was fun.
Meanwhile, Kate's totally pissed off and screaming at me when peter calls. "can't talk now, sarah played in her crap. It's all over. Kate's mad, I'll call you back!" click. Then I can't find the Sarah's new medicine. ERR!!
I'd really been okay until now. I had. I wasn't only slightly annoyed with Peter about the dry cleaning and the cereal thing. I'd planned on mentioning to him about how my work day is just as important as his and just because he's late that I shouldn't be expected to do what normally he does. But not finding the medicine just did it for me. Now I'm angry. So is Kate, who is still screaming bloody murder.
I call Peter, "WHERE THE MEDICINE?!", Poor him. "in the fridge." "NO IT'S NOT", "It should be, it was there this morning." (he's all calm - me not so much) "THAT WAS THE SCHOOL MEDICINE!!", "no, it's in there"
it's in there. whoops. "yeah, okay it is. sorry, gotta run"
I'm able to wrap up the morning. I get Sarah to school. Drop of the dry cleaning. Feed Kate. Put her down. Now I'm ready to call Peter. Remember, I'd planned on talking to him about wisking out of here when he's late. Now I just needed to include a prelude of, "I'm sorry I freaked about the medicine" before our chat. I'm set to go. This will be good.
Ring, He picks up, "hey babe, (got caller ID at work) you've had a mornin' eh?"
Me, "yeah"
Him, "I'm not even going to ask how the kids were. How bad's the room"
Me, "oh eek, I didn't even have the energy to look. But I think it was mostly on her"
Him, "okay well I'll clean it when I get home"
Me, "cool, thanks. Hey? I'm sorry I blew up at you about the medicine"
Him. "OH NO! It's totally fine!! don't give that a second thought. I would have been WAY worse than that. Your were totally fine!!! I understand. You've had quite a morning, and it's not even 9 yet"
aaaaaaaawwwww..... and DRAT! How can I be mad now?!!?
Funny, how we (or maybe just me) need validation. That's what it came down to. Being acknowledged for having too much to do, and still doing it.
It's all good. :)
Today wasn't like that however. Started off with Peter waking up a little late. That throws everything off. Mainly because when he's late, I'm a little late. He also pulls the, "I've got to get off to work NOW" card, which I hate. The few things (okay the one thing) he does in the morning to help, which is to get Noah's cereal going, doesn't get done. Or well it gets done, just not by him. Can you guess who does it? ***waving*** yeah, that would be me. Not only is he bookin' outta here he asks if I can drop his drycleaning off. He's too busy. I'm slightly annoyed but hey, I suck it up and agree. This isn't a big thing right? nah.
It also throws Noah off a little when we wake up late. Not completely sure why. Though I suspect it's because Peter and I are both cranky and he feeds off that. So now he's giving me a hard time. "these shoes are uncomfortable" (turns out one was the wrong size HAHAHAA) "I don't want my hair spiked", "I don't know where I left my lunchbox" ERR!
Carpool finally comes and he's off. phew! Things are easy from here on out. Usually. The girls, without the energy and distraction of the boy, are easy.
uh huh...
I take a shower. Do my face and hair as per usual. It's all good. Kate's awake. Actually has been since before Peter. She's hangin in the swing. Still good.
Then I enter...Sarah's room. yeah...things go south from here on out.
Have I mentioned Sarah's newest 'thing'? Don't think I have. NO! I have. The thing were she gets all nekid in the morning! That thing. Remember it? yeeeeah......well it happened. Being without her clothes colided with a bowel movement.
niiiiiiiiiiice
2 baths, 2 washclothes, and 20 minutes later - she's clean. Yeah, that was fun.
Meanwhile, Kate's totally pissed off and screaming at me when peter calls. "can't talk now, sarah played in her crap. It's all over. Kate's mad, I'll call you back!" click. Then I can't find the Sarah's new medicine. ERR!!
I'd really been okay until now. I had. I wasn't only slightly annoyed with Peter about the dry cleaning and the cereal thing. I'd planned on mentioning to him about how my work day is just as important as his and just because he's late that I shouldn't be expected to do what normally he does. But not finding the medicine just did it for me. Now I'm angry. So is Kate, who is still screaming bloody murder.
I call Peter, "WHERE THE MEDICINE?!", Poor him. "in the fridge." "NO IT'S NOT", "It should be, it was there this morning." (he's all calm - me not so much) "THAT WAS THE SCHOOL MEDICINE!!", "no, it's in there"
it's in there. whoops. "yeah, okay it is. sorry, gotta run"
I'm able to wrap up the morning. I get Sarah to school. Drop of the dry cleaning. Feed Kate. Put her down. Now I'm ready to call Peter. Remember, I'd planned on talking to him about wisking out of here when he's late. Now I just needed to include a prelude of, "I'm sorry I freaked about the medicine" before our chat. I'm set to go. This will be good.
Ring, He picks up, "hey babe, (got caller ID at work) you've had a mornin' eh?"
Me, "yeah"
Him, "I'm not even going to ask how the kids were. How bad's the room"
Me, "oh eek, I didn't even have the energy to look. But I think it was mostly on her"
Him, "okay well I'll clean it when I get home"
Me, "cool, thanks. Hey? I'm sorry I blew up at you about the medicine"
Him. "OH NO! It's totally fine!! don't give that a second thought. I would have been WAY worse than that. Your were totally fine!!! I understand. You've had quite a morning, and it's not even 9 yet"
aaaaaaaawwwww..... and DRAT! How can I be mad now?!!?
Funny, how we (or maybe just me) need validation. That's what it came down to. Being acknowledged for having too much to do, and still doing it.
It's all good. :)
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
my own personal yo-yo
I tell you what, I am a drama queen. Who knew? That or I've got a serious chemical imbalance. Whatever it is I need to figure it out, and fast! I'm making myself nutso.
Yesterday was a bad day. Too much work. waaaaaaaaaay too much. Panic city. I cried through it all. Even to clients (this is not recommended practice) My boss even called me on it. "Were you about to cry?" yikes...Like THAT helps. Anyway, worked until midnight, until I couldn't see anymore. Then got up and will do it again tonight.
I made a list last night. It - I kid you not - made me hyperventilate! 15 items long. Some easy, like "Call Dan and verify the changes to the theatrical lighting." Most, not so easy. Like, "start and finish job by Monday, The one with 300 manhours allowed to it. The one you still don't have all the info you need. so make shit up" Yeah, those are fun ones.
I've managed to get a few things off my desk today. This is a good thing. Hopefully, tonight I'll get one or two more done. By the time the week is over I should be able to actually work on that big job, the one I don't have the info on! haha
such is my life.
If only I was alone in my drama and busyness. I do realize that all y'all are just as busy. You just probably don't freak out and cry like I do. I wish I were like that! But then what would Peter do all day if he didn't have to continually talk me down??? *wink*
Yesterday was a bad day. Too much work. waaaaaaaaaay too much. Panic city. I cried through it all. Even to clients (this is not recommended practice) My boss even called me on it. "Were you about to cry?" yikes...Like THAT helps. Anyway, worked until midnight, until I couldn't see anymore. Then got up and will do it again tonight.
I made a list last night. It - I kid you not - made me hyperventilate! 15 items long. Some easy, like "Call Dan and verify the changes to the theatrical lighting." Most, not so easy. Like, "start and finish job by Monday, The one with 300 manhours allowed to it. The one you still don't have all the info you need. so make shit up" Yeah, those are fun ones.
I've managed to get a few things off my desk today. This is a good thing. Hopefully, tonight I'll get one or two more done. By the time the week is over I should be able to actually work on that big job, the one I don't have the info on! haha
such is my life.
If only I was alone in my drama and busyness. I do realize that all y'all are just as busy. You just probably don't freak out and cry like I do. I wish I were like that! But then what would Peter do all day if he didn't have to continually talk me down??? *wink*
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Monday, September 05, 2005
what a nice day
I love holidays. (who doesn't?) I love getting paid for spending time with my family. I love staying up too late on a 'school night' and not worrying about having to get up for work. I love the short work week that follows my day of relaxation.
Today, though, was extra special. Today I got to sleep in. Not really sure how I swung it. Not really sure why Peter got up with the kids at let me sleep. But he did. And I LOVED it. I haven't slept in like that for years. It was wonderful.
The day continued to be nice. Set up our nano salt water tank. This setup (our second tank) had to have a custom lighting unit. So we are officially fish geeks. We discussed this new status and we agree, we're okay with it. This tank will be our quarantine tank for a while, currently housing 'dory' for her month of isolation before transfer into our display. Then we're thinking of making it a sea horse tank. That should be fun. Yeah, geeks.
Bro is over tonight. He's still bumming from the breakup of his recent love. Man, he's got some bad luck. Sucks too cause he's a GREAT guy. *shrug* Wish I could hook him up.
The night is winding down. Peter's off reading to Noah. Kate's taking her evening nappy. Sarah's giving Michael (bro) a run for his money. She's cranky because she's getting tired. I'd better give him some backup.
Hope your Labor Day was filled with anything but labor (unless you're ready to have a baby! then LABOR AWAY!)
Today, though, was extra special. Today I got to sleep in. Not really sure how I swung it. Not really sure why Peter got up with the kids at let me sleep. But he did. And I LOVED it. I haven't slept in like that for years. It was wonderful.
The day continued to be nice. Set up our nano salt water tank. This setup (our second tank) had to have a custom lighting unit. So we are officially fish geeks. We discussed this new status and we agree, we're okay with it. This tank will be our quarantine tank for a while, currently housing 'dory' for her month of isolation before transfer into our display. Then we're thinking of making it a sea horse tank. That should be fun. Yeah, geeks.
Bro is over tonight. He's still bumming from the breakup of his recent love. Man, he's got some bad luck. Sucks too cause he's a GREAT guy. *shrug* Wish I could hook him up.
The night is winding down. Peter's off reading to Noah. Kate's taking her evening nappy. Sarah's giving Michael (bro) a run for his money. She's cranky because she's getting tired. I'd better give him some backup.
Hope your Labor Day was filled with anything but labor (unless you're ready to have a baby! then LABOR AWAY!)
Sunday, September 04, 2005
my heart is full
Ya know, I've had a hard time of it lately. I know you know. It's been pretty obvious. And heaven knows I haven't hid it. Things have been hard. I don't feel right. It's been confusing and frustrating and I haven't liked it. Shoot, I haven't liked myself a whole lot lately, much less my behavior. I haven't felt much like a good person. This has been hard for me because, for the first time in 30 some years I'd felt like I had kinda gotten there. That I had finally figured out how to be, nice. And now it's gone. just gone.
I've blamed it on being pregnant. And Nursing. And Pregnant again. And not getting over being pregnant when I got pregnant again. and so on...
Funny though. Turns out that wasn't it at all. I mean the babies have taken a toll on me. No question. What was really going on was much bigger. Way big. The kind of big the entire world struggles with knowing. The big G.
God.
I've missed Him. Missed the Son too. And without my hearing those big guys the Holy Spirit is darn near impossible to hear. I listened today though. And it's done wonders. Let me back up a bit. Back to last night.
Peter walks in the room and proclaims that he's "getting up for mass in the morning". Huh? I can't go? I ask. Of course I can go. But he's going for sure. This is the kick in the pants I need. He took Noah last week. I'd managed to talk myself out of getting up. Even for him that was the second time he'd gone since Kate was born. We went about 3 months ago. So he tells me he's going and I agree I want to go too.
8:30 am Mass arrives early. The alarm goes off and Peter mumbles, "let's go to the next one." OKay...fine. I Roll over and go back to sleep. This, for the past 6 months, is the beginning of the "skipping church" dance. I know it. He knows it. We just don't discuss it. Although it's hard to get up we prefer the 8:30 to the 10:15. It's less crowded.
I manage to get up though. 8:15 and I'm out of the shower. Dodge my first "skip Mass" bullet. We're all getting ready when Sarah wakes. He nose is thick and green again. CRAP. The medication, the new medication, has already stopped working and her alergies about back in full swing. Poor thing.
Bullet number 2: locked and loaded. We can't take her to nursery like that. I mean how fair is that to those poor volunteers who'll have to wipe her nasty nose every 3 minutes? Peter suggests I go and leave him with the girls. I hate going to Mass by myself. I convince him that we (since we know full well) can convince the nursery person that she does not have a cold. That she is not contagious. And that it's only allergies.
We load up and off we go. I think I actually see bullet #2 zip by me.
What's even more amazing that we've arrived at church is that we've arrived early. Pretty much unheard of for us. The girls were both freshly bathed even. This is a good thing. Time to unload.
Walking up things don't look right. Seems like I see people walking back from nursey with kids in tow. huh? That's weird. Did I see the 'nursery open' sign in front? I can't remember. Oh, I sure hope that poor single looking guy walking towards me with 4 kids hanging off him really wants to take all his kids to Mass. Don't tell me they aren't open today. Don't tell me that. I need to go to Mass today. Need.
"They aren't open today", the single looking man tells me. "no 'adult' to work" He quotes his fingers like that, "adult." Which normally doesn't bother me but for some reason strikes me as odd. Like what kind of volunteer are we going to let back there, a "kid"?
We're screwed. Bullet #3 just nailed me. We don't do Mass with Sarah. It just ain't gonna happen. She's a mess and it's a nightmare for everyone. We start back to the car, heads down and beaten. I'm crushed.
I really needed Mass today.
Peter suggests I go by myself. He'll pick me up in an hour. This is usually something I hate doing, going to church alone. It's not like we talk or whatever. But there are 2 times in a Catholic Mass that I like sharing with him. The first is when we share a sign of peace with those around us. The second is when the entire congragation holds hands and recites "The Lord's Prayer." Oh and well I really like discussin the readings and Homily with him over breakfast.
Any other day I might has said "No, I'll just go home with you." Today I didn't. I didn't even miss a beat. I agreed I'd stay and let him pick me up. We also decided Kate would come with me. Off we went.
Boy am I glad I made that choice. Mass was amazing. The Eucharist filled me up in a way only receiving the Lord can. I was home and it felt good. I felt whole. My heart felt full again. I can feel the Holy Spirit again. I can hear the gentle God whispers I'd forgotten how to listen for. I remember what it feels like to be fulfilled and to be made new again. I remember what it feels like to love myself and to feel the love my Father has for me. I was a good morning.
Funny how you can not even realize something is empty until you fill it back up.
I've blamed it on being pregnant. And Nursing. And Pregnant again. And not getting over being pregnant when I got pregnant again. and so on...
Funny though. Turns out that wasn't it at all. I mean the babies have taken a toll on me. No question. What was really going on was much bigger. Way big. The kind of big the entire world struggles with knowing. The big G.
God.
I've missed Him. Missed the Son too. And without my hearing those big guys the Holy Spirit is darn near impossible to hear. I listened today though. And it's done wonders. Let me back up a bit. Back to last night.
Peter walks in the room and proclaims that he's "getting up for mass in the morning". Huh? I can't go? I ask. Of course I can go. But he's going for sure. This is the kick in the pants I need. He took Noah last week. I'd managed to talk myself out of getting up. Even for him that was the second time he'd gone since Kate was born. We went about 3 months ago. So he tells me he's going and I agree I want to go too.
8:30 am Mass arrives early. The alarm goes off and Peter mumbles, "let's go to the next one." OKay...fine. I Roll over and go back to sleep. This, for the past 6 months, is the beginning of the "skipping church" dance. I know it. He knows it. We just don't discuss it. Although it's hard to get up we prefer the 8:30 to the 10:15. It's less crowded.
I manage to get up though. 8:15 and I'm out of the shower. Dodge my first "skip Mass" bullet. We're all getting ready when Sarah wakes. He nose is thick and green again. CRAP. The medication, the new medication, has already stopped working and her alergies about back in full swing. Poor thing.
Bullet number 2: locked and loaded. We can't take her to nursery like that. I mean how fair is that to those poor volunteers who'll have to wipe her nasty nose every 3 minutes? Peter suggests I go and leave him with the girls. I hate going to Mass by myself. I convince him that we (since we know full well) can convince the nursery person that she does not have a cold. That she is not contagious. And that it's only allergies.
We load up and off we go. I think I actually see bullet #2 zip by me.
What's even more amazing that we've arrived at church is that we've arrived early. Pretty much unheard of for us. The girls were both freshly bathed even. This is a good thing. Time to unload.
Walking up things don't look right. Seems like I see people walking back from nursey with kids in tow. huh? That's weird. Did I see the 'nursery open' sign in front? I can't remember. Oh, I sure hope that poor single looking guy walking towards me with 4 kids hanging off him really wants to take all his kids to Mass. Don't tell me they aren't open today. Don't tell me that. I need to go to Mass today. Need.
"They aren't open today", the single looking man tells me. "no 'adult' to work" He quotes his fingers like that, "adult." Which normally doesn't bother me but for some reason strikes me as odd. Like what kind of volunteer are we going to let back there, a "kid"?
We're screwed. Bullet #3 just nailed me. We don't do Mass with Sarah. It just ain't gonna happen. She's a mess and it's a nightmare for everyone. We start back to the car, heads down and beaten. I'm crushed.
I really needed Mass today.
Peter suggests I go by myself. He'll pick me up in an hour. This is usually something I hate doing, going to church alone. It's not like we talk or whatever. But there are 2 times in a Catholic Mass that I like sharing with him. The first is when we share a sign of peace with those around us. The second is when the entire congragation holds hands and recites "The Lord's Prayer." Oh and well I really like discussin the readings and Homily with him over breakfast.
Any other day I might has said "No, I'll just go home with you." Today I didn't. I didn't even miss a beat. I agreed I'd stay and let him pick me up. We also decided Kate would come with me. Off we went.
Boy am I glad I made that choice. Mass was amazing. The Eucharist filled me up in a way only receiving the Lord can. I was home and it felt good. I felt whole. My heart felt full again. I can feel the Holy Spirit again. I can hear the gentle God whispers I'd forgotten how to listen for. I remember what it feels like to be fulfilled and to be made new again. I remember what it feels like to love myself and to feel the love my Father has for me. I was a good morning.
Funny how you can not even realize something is empty until you fill it back up.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
saturday morning
This is what I wake to every morning. Or well almost. Sarah's in her crib, not on 'the big chair'. And she's usually completely nekid. This is a new thing for her. Striping down to nothin' and playing with the toys in her bed. I fear the day she had a BM :0
So she's got a thing for going commando. Kinda funny actually (for now) Time to start our day. I get her up, put her in a diaper and let her run wild for a bit before breakfast (which is Eggo's today yum). Peter's been working Saturday mornings. Kinda sucks. For him though more than me. I miss having him here but with Noah his Dad's this weekend it's nice to havin it be just the girls.
Anyway, caught this shot as Sarah sat reading, or should I say "turning"? HAHA She's such a ham. Wonder where she gets that!
Oh! And what'dya think of that hair? Nice huh???
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
on all 8
aah....it's been a good day. Been a long time since I've felt like me. Like my brain actually works. But today, well today I was firing on all 8.
Woke up early (had to, I had carpool) and got everyone to where they needed to be on time. Early even. Came back home and was working by 7:50am. That's crazy early, even when I did have a brain. Worked all morning then headed to the office to catch a ride with the boss.
I had an important meeting with the building community of a church I'm doing the electrical design for. We didn't know what we were walking into, other than "they don't think they need that lighting". crazy. I hate walking into meetings blind like that. I mean, what don't you like? Is it the physical look of the fixtures? Is it the glare? Is it the cost??? WHAT?
Our client totally had our back and we ended up getting the go ahead to keep the system we designed that will actually work. Funny, since that's what they hired us to do in the first place. But I guess sometimes it takes some face to face time to convince people of that. ah well...it worked.
Anyway, got home after that and worked more, returned calls, and set up the rest of the week. Helped Noah with his homework. Picked up the girls and played with them for a while. Had them pick up their rooms. Then the living room. I cleaned the kitchen and family room. Let them watch cartoons while I mopped. Fed them. Watch a bit of scooby doo (man is that bad). Bathed them and got them to bed.
Then Peter got home. Month end for him so it's crazy busy. Handed Kate off to him after he ate dinner. Now it's 'my' time.
So decided my kitchen needed a little shelf. So I found one I'd been holding onto for some reason, this reason it turns out. Painted hit. Hung it. And put the phone, our daily meds, and tissues on it. Looks like it'll work.
I feel sharp. I will get it back. Peter's right. I will. And today I actually believe that!
yeah...that feels good.
Woke up early (had to, I had carpool) and got everyone to where they needed to be on time. Early even. Came back home and was working by 7:50am. That's crazy early, even when I did have a brain. Worked all morning then headed to the office to catch a ride with the boss.
I had an important meeting with the building community of a church I'm doing the electrical design for. We didn't know what we were walking into, other than "they don't think they need that lighting". crazy. I hate walking into meetings blind like that. I mean, what don't you like? Is it the physical look of the fixtures? Is it the glare? Is it the cost??? WHAT?
Our client totally had our back and we ended up getting the go ahead to keep the system we designed that will actually work. Funny, since that's what they hired us to do in the first place. But I guess sometimes it takes some face to face time to convince people of that. ah well...it worked.
Anyway, got home after that and worked more, returned calls, and set up the rest of the week. Helped Noah with his homework. Picked up the girls and played with them for a while. Had them pick up their rooms. Then the living room. I cleaned the kitchen and family room. Let them watch cartoons while I mopped. Fed them. Watch a bit of scooby doo (man is that bad). Bathed them and got them to bed.
Then Peter got home. Month end for him so it's crazy busy. Handed Kate off to him after he ate dinner. Now it's 'my' time.
So decided my kitchen needed a little shelf. So I found one I'd been holding onto for some reason, this reason it turns out. Painted hit. Hung it. And put the phone, our daily meds, and tissues on it. Looks like it'll work.
I feel sharp. I will get it back. Peter's right. I will. And today I actually believe that!
yeah...that feels good.
bye bye bassinet
My little one, Kate, has grown out of the bassinet. She's 4 1/2 months now and we've moved her to her own bed.
aaah....How sweet is she?
She'll be in with Sarah eventually. But for now she's in a pack'n'play thingie in my scrapbook room. We're 'testing it out' for a couple days/weeks first waiting to see how she does. We're hoping they'll both sleep in there without waking the other one up. We'll see. Kate's super quiet. Sarah's loud! haha My biggest problem, though, is keeping big brother outta there. He's alway so excited to play with his sisters.
I'll be packing up the bassinet today. It's seen a lot of love in it's life. I bought it from my neighbor when I was pregnant with Sarah. She'd used it for her 2nd born. I kept it for Kate and now I'm going to donate it to the children's ministry at my church. So it will continue to keep safe and warm another beautiful little life. I wonder how many more babies will sleep in it. Kinda makes me wish I could put Lo-Jack on it or something, so I can track it's whereabouts! haha
Bittersweet day. I'd figured it would hurt more...Kate being my last n'all. But it's really not. Dare I say it's almost exciting. Something about my babies growing up that...well...makes me feel...warm.
I like feeling warm.
aaah....How sweet is she?
She'll be in with Sarah eventually. But for now she's in a pack'n'play thingie in my scrapbook room. We're 'testing it out' for a couple days/weeks first waiting to see how she does. We're hoping they'll both sleep in there without waking the other one up. We'll see. Kate's super quiet. Sarah's loud! haha My biggest problem, though, is keeping big brother outta there. He's alway so excited to play with his sisters.
I'll be packing up the bassinet today. It's seen a lot of love in it's life. I bought it from my neighbor when I was pregnant with Sarah. She'd used it for her 2nd born. I kept it for Kate and now I'm going to donate it to the children's ministry at my church. So it will continue to keep safe and warm another beautiful little life. I wonder how many more babies will sleep in it. Kinda makes me wish I could put Lo-Jack on it or something, so I can track it's whereabouts! haha
Bittersweet day. I'd figured it would hurt more...Kate being my last n'all. But it's really not. Dare I say it's almost exciting. Something about my babies growing up that...well...makes me feel...warm.
I like feeling warm.
Monday, August 29, 2005
man i hate that
ugh...Don't you just hate it when your husband is mad at you? Especially when he's got every right to be? dammit. I keep making the same mistakes over and over and over again. I can't seem to stop. It's maddening - for everyone.
Not to worry, it's not big mistakes I'm making. So I don't expect he'll be seeing a lawyer any time soon. But still. I've got to stop. I've got to find a way to pull it together and stop being...well...a bitch.
I wasn't ever perfect, mind you. But man! These children have taken a toll of my brain. Big time. I wouldn't trade them to get my brain back. But I need to somehow regenerate what's lost. Rebuilt it somehow.
Maybe meds.
Probably shouldn't come vent on the internet. But who reads this anyway? And I needed to put it down out there that I know I'm wrong. Even if he doesn't believe me (yet) maybe some anonomous person out there will. *wink*
m
Not to worry, it's not big mistakes I'm making. So I don't expect he'll be seeing a lawyer any time soon. But still. I've got to stop. I've got to find a way to pull it together and stop being...well...a bitch.
I wasn't ever perfect, mind you. But man! These children have taken a toll of my brain. Big time. I wouldn't trade them to get my brain back. But I need to somehow regenerate what's lost. Rebuilt it somehow.
Maybe meds.
Probably shouldn't come vent on the internet. But who reads this anyway? And I needed to put it down out there that I know I'm wrong. Even if he doesn't believe me (yet) maybe some anonomous person out there will. *wink*
m
he's sleeping with them
Sleeping with what you ask? Well his two-1st place metals of course!
It was one of those days. The kind you wish for as a parent. The kind of day that ends with sore cheeks for smiling.
Noah competed in a karate tournament on Saturday. This was his 3rd in a year and it had double the number of competitors in his division, many of them a slightly higher belt rank. Having not attend practice consistantly for months I was worried he would perform poorly and end up disappointed. Man, was I wrong.
He did fantastic!!!
I've never seen him so sharp, confident and ready to knock'em dead. But that's what he did. The minute he walked into the ring I could tell he was on fire. He marched up pride and ready to wow the judges. He flew through his form effortlessly and without hesitation. If he made a mistake I didn't see it.
There were about (25) 6-8 year olds in the group. They awarded 5 of each award. I didn't realize they were going to do that and figured he was going to take 3rd, as I was adding the scores as they were shown. I was pleased with 3rd. There were 2 others who did exceptionally well and deserved a higher score. So when they pulled 5 kids for the blue ribbon I was tickled!
And so was Noah! :)
Then he was to compete in sparring. This doesn't come as naturally to him. He's not very aggressive and tends to think more on form and technique (which is good)and get hammered by his glumsy aggresive opponent. It didn't help that he's only sparred 2 times in the last 5 months. Having Kate has taken its toll on my schedule. Karate was one of the first things to go.
He loves sparring so we entered him in that just for practice. There were about 12 in his sparring group and he finished first in that as well. Didn't lose a bout. I, seriously, could not have been more proud of him.
We all floated home. He's still pretty much on cloud 9.
It was one of those days. The kind you wish for as a parent. The kind of day that ends with sore cheeks for smiling.
Noah competed in a karate tournament on Saturday. This was his 3rd in a year and it had double the number of competitors in his division, many of them a slightly higher belt rank. Having not attend practice consistantly for months I was worried he would perform poorly and end up disappointed. Man, was I wrong.
He did fantastic!!!
I've never seen him so sharp, confident and ready to knock'em dead. But that's what he did. The minute he walked into the ring I could tell he was on fire. He marched up pride and ready to wow the judges. He flew through his form effortlessly and without hesitation. If he made a mistake I didn't see it.
There were about (25) 6-8 year olds in the group. They awarded 5 of each award. I didn't realize they were going to do that and figured he was going to take 3rd, as I was adding the scores as they were shown. I was pleased with 3rd. There were 2 others who did exceptionally well and deserved a higher score. So when they pulled 5 kids for the blue ribbon I was tickled!
And so was Noah! :)
Then he was to compete in sparring. This doesn't come as naturally to him. He's not very aggressive and tends to think more on form and technique (which is good)and get hammered by his glumsy aggresive opponent. It didn't help that he's only sparred 2 times in the last 5 months. Having Kate has taken its toll on my schedule. Karate was one of the first things to go.
He loves sparring so we entered him in that just for practice. There were about 12 in his sparring group and he finished first in that as well. Didn't lose a bout. I, seriously, could not have been more proud of him.
We all floated home. He's still pretty much on cloud 9.
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